Encouraging Words for Today ~ December 31, 2011

WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS YEAR?

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

What do you most need as the new year begins?

More TIME? More money? Better HEALTH? A job? A spouse? To lose 20 pounds? To lose 120 pounds? Reconciliation with a loved one? Freedom from an addiction? More PATIENCE? A new Book Contract? Freedom from fear? More purpose and passion for living? A baby?

A miracle?

I ask you this question because it is what I ask myself as the New Year approaches and we all face an unknown future. I have prayed for a promise from God to cling to in 2012 and can find no better words than Peter’s own proclamation:

“God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life & godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” II Peter 1.3

If I am to believe God’s Word, then I can face 2012 knowing that God will provide ‘everything I need’ for the unique story He has called me to live. But only if I appropriate ‘His divine power’ and deepen my own ‘knowledge of Him’. The next question then becomes, ‘am I willing to do that?’

           Yes, I am willing to step out in faith and embrace ALL that God calls me to in the coming year, trusting His divine power, grace, and mercy. Back in the dismal time of The Great War (WWI), a man named Hugh Kerr wrote a hymn that I’d like to sing to you as a prayer today:

God of our life, through all the circling years, we trust in You;

In all the past, through all our hopes and fears, Your hand we view.

With each new day, when morning lifts the veil,

we own Your mercies, Lord, which never fail.

God of the coming years, thro’ paths unknown, we follow You;

When we are strong, Lord, leave us not alone; our faith renew.

Be now for us in life our daily bread,

our heart’s true home when all our years have sped.

~Hugh T. Kerr 1916

            May I suggest a helpful exercise as the year begins – a blank page, a fresh start? Write down a list of what you most NEED during 2012. Then, make this your “Impossible Prayer List”, always remembering that though our needs often seem impossible to meet, ‘nothing is impossible with God’ as the angel Gabriel told Mary. Also, try to keep a “Gratitude Journal” all year, DAILY writing down ONE THING you are thankful for that day…you will soon find you cannot write only one thing. Your life will change… Lastly, I’m going to take a cue from Frank Laubach’s words in 1930 about being more open to others and their needs.

“To be able to look backward and say, ‘This, this has been the finest year of my life’ — that is glorious! But anticipation! To be able to look ahead and say, ‘The present year can and shall be better!’ — that is more glorious! I have done nothing but open windows — God has done the rest. There has been a succession of marvelous experiences of the friendship of God. I resolved that I would succeed better this year with my experiment of filling every minute full of the thought of God than I succeeded last year. And I added another resolve — to be as wide open toward people and their need as I am toward God. Windows open especially downward where people need the most!”

~ Frank Laubach in “Letters By A Modern Mystic” 1930

 Yes, this can be a grand year of both God providing everything we need and also using us to help meet others’ needs.

And all we have to do is…. put one foot in front of the other. Go forth. LIVE FULLY!  It’s 2012. Happy New Year. May yours be one of Grace, Peace, and Mercy.

                                                            Cindy

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net  

WHEN CHRISTMAS IS HARD…

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

It’s virtually impossible to apply eye makeup while your eyes are constantly ‘leaking.’ This Sunday I was preparing for church and couldn’t stop weeping, just a feeling of loss — my first Christmas ever without Daddy. But I had to ‘get it all together’ because not only did we have a houseguest, but I was giving the Morning Prayer in the service. And so I did. Still, all around me were people in pain — many of their stories I know (the woman behind me lost her mother one day recently and her husband the next day) but many I don’t know (a young woman across the meetinghouse kept dabbing her eyes during every Christmas carol.) Reading Christmas letters from friends and family far and wide, I am once again reminded of the tremendous brokeness and pain and despair in the world today.

That’s why it’s so AMAZING that GOD CAME! “The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood…” (John 1.14 MSG) This Christ child was also “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…” (Isaiah 53) He knows what our lives are like. And that’s why He came, to sit with us in our sorrow, to guide us in our bewilderment, and to give us hope to take the next step.  Emmanuel — God with us — is the great good news for all who weep today. And that’s why we truly can rejoice at Christmastime.

Nevertheless, for those to whom the holidays are hard, it’s important to adjust your expectations for celebration this year. I have had to do that — knowing my limits — perhaps you do too. I hope this practical advice will help you as it has helped me during this season:

“Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus,that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men. Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts. May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus’ sake. AMEN.” (Robert Louis Stephenson)

Christmas Blessings! Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

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“Encouraging Words for Today” December 1, 2011

EMBRACE THE HOLIDAYS!

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

December is here and everyone is already stressed! How can we embrace the ‘love and joy come to you’, the ‘all is calm, all is bright,’ and ‘rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing…’? Honestly, it’s a struggle — here we are in a season of waiting for the Prince of Peace and yet all too often there is no peace within our hearts.

I blame it on all the Holiday Expectations put upon us by others – our culture, our loved ones, and especially ourselves. We want this year to be the Best Christmas Ever for everyone and so we strive to help make it so, even if it means we leave our hearts behind in the process.

This year can be different! During this Advent Season (Nov. 27-Dec. 24) and the 12 Days of Christmas (Dec. 24 thru Epiphany Jan. 6) we can be intentional about embracing Light, and Hope, and Joy, and Peace, and yes, even ‘goodwill to all men.’ I don’t want to turn around on New Year’s Day 2012 and look back with regret on how I did or did not spend my precious holiday season. Three words will help me on this journey:

FOCUS

I need to decide where my FOCUS will be. It’s been a hard year for many of us and frankly, it would be easy to whine about struggles or get depressed at losses. Instead, I face my limitations and decide on boundaries – physically, socially, financially, and relationally. This first year in our new little home, we will have all four children here from far and wide. I want to welcome them to a home of acceptance, peace, encouragement and joy. My main priority is to keep myself in a place where that will happen. In the days leading up to Christmas I will spend time singing many carols (both aloud and in my heart) and focusing on Christ’s coming through scripture and prayer. I will say ‘Yes’ to some things (hosting the daughter of a west coast friend who just moved to Boston; speaking at 3 Christmas outreach events, breakfast with my prayer partners, Advent communion each Wednesday…) and say ’No’ to others (can’t do neighborhood open house, simplified gift giving, shorter Christmas card list…). And I will continue to write down my Gratitude and Thanks to God every day!

FUN

But I will have FUN in the process! Yes, we will watch “Elf” at least once. We will gather around the fire and play games (Scattergories, Charades, etc.) and we will tell stories and laugh at each other and ourselves. Christmas should be a time of joy and merriment. I will take time to make every moment festive for celebration. I use Mama’s Christmas china every single meal every single day from Nov. 27-Jan. 6 as a statement that this is indeed a special time. We light candles and play Christmas music: Messiah (of course) but also Elvis, and Emmy Lou Harris, and Dolly Parton and Josh Groban. And, of course, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, especially in homage to my Daddy. So, smile a lot and wish every single harried store clerk and Merry Christmas as you are patient with them.

FAITH

Most of all, I shall endeavor to live out my FAITH in practice and not just words. The best part of the holidays (holy days) are that they remind us of the lifechanging Good News that God sent His Son to us. “The Word became flesh and blood,  and moved into the neighborhood.  We saw the glory with our own eyes,  the one-of-a-kind glory,  like Father, like Son,  Generous inside and out,  true from start to  finish.”  (John 1.14 The Message) God didn’t just see us struggling down here on earth, shout down from heaven, “Hey, I love ya, so buck up!” No, He actually ‘moved into the neighborhood’ through Jesus Christ, Immanuel (that word means, after all, ‘God with us.’) That means we are never alone. Even when we feel alone during the holidays because there is an empty place at the table and an empty place in our hearts. Even when we feel alone as we start a new year, not knowing what it will hold for us. We are not alone. God came. And because He did, we can ‘be present’ for others, especially during this season when so many are hurting, needy, and seeking hope to keep going.

Giving and serving as a family is a great way to live out faith. But also, each of us individually, can be a Present to others when we offer gifts of Grace, Mercy and Time. Don’t feel you need to change your loved ones (especially during fractured family gatherings), just love up on ‘em as Immanuel loves up on you. And, oh yeah, in case I forgot to say it, Sing Carols, Do Advent Devotions daily, Go to Church, Play Christmas Music all the time, Light Candles, Serve a Birthday cake, Watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Fill Stockings, Pray for Peace….

ADVENT PRAYER

“Lord Jesus, Master of both the light & darkness, send Your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do, seek quiet spaces to hear Your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things, look forward to Your coming among us. We who are blessedin so many ways, long for the complete joy of Your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy, seek the joy of Your presence. We are Your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the Light. To You we say, ‘Come Lord Jesus!’ AMEN.”  ~ Henri Nouwen

And now, for my 4 minutes of fame on TV this week!!!

My Interview on ABC’s “Good Morning Connecticut Weekend” – Sunday, November 20, 2011

from “McDowell Family Interview 2011″ YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROL LINE?

Mike – “And our eyes at last shall see Him, through His own redeeming love.”

Cindy “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight…”

Justin – “He rules the world with truth and grace!”

Tim – “Christ by highest heaven adored, Christ the everlasting Lord!”

Fiona – “Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace.”

Maggie – “A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!”

All – “Fa la la la la, la la la la!” 

Love and Joy come to you, And to you a Merry Christmas too, May God bless you and send you a Happy New Year…. under the mercy, Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell www.EncouragingWords.net

70 REASONS TO THANK GOD

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever!” (Psalm 118) How can we be thankful after experiencing a drastic reduction in income… or status… or health… or relationships? Sadly, this is Reality at Thanksgiving 2011 for so many people. Truth is, I’ve also experienced this kind of Reality. Yet here I am, still giving Thanks. And I believe we can all do this if we embrace two things:

1. Remember that GOD is the One we thank.

God is the One we thank because He is over all and in all and chooses to share that ‘all’ with us lavishly. Knowing that we are created, loved and sustained by a merciful and gracious God is the ultimate reason for giving thanks. My friend, Steve Brown, says that despite circumstances it can always be a good Thanksgiving:

“It is a good Thanksgiving because we have Someone to thank Who loves us, Who shows Himself to us in the dark and Who is in control of the mess. Some of us will have more ‘stuff’ than others. Some will be going through some rough waters and some will be sailing through the calm between the storms. Some will be facing emotional or physical pain, loss of a loved one or the prospect of great failure, while others will be sitting on top of the world. Those aren’t even the issues though. The issue is GOD. Run to Him. Thanksgiving will be natural.”

2. Make a CHOICE to live in Gratitude, no matter what.

So, we can either complain and whine about the direction life has taken us — the detour in the road, the closed door, the seemingly impossible challenge — or we can believe that nothing is too hard for God-with-us (btw, that is Emmanuel, one of the names of Jesus, but we will get to that later during Advent…) Maybe your situation is darker this year than last, but if you know God as the Great Provider, you can choose to say with Habakkuk:

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails  and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength…” (Habakkuk 3.17-19)

I’m grateful for parents who taught me early on that Thanksgiving is actually a way of life. Recently I discovered a small piece of paper with a long list written by my 12 year old self… my ‘ticket’ to Thanksgiving dinner… (thanks to sister Susan for ‘rescuing’ this from the family archives…)

My Thankful List 1965

(misspellings are original, italics are updated notes)

Food: Turkey, Ice Cream, Spagetti

Shelter: Brookside (our farm in the country), Pinecrest (our house in town), Treehouse (mine!)

Family: Mama, Daddy, Susan, Cathy

Pets: Friskey, Rusty, Animals

School: Education, Teachers, Materials

Clothes: Slacks, Skirts, Dresses, Shoes (old), Jeans

House: Kitchen, My Room,

Govement: Free Country, Leaders, Democracy, President (even though he is Mr. Johnson), White House, Capital, Heroes, Republicans

Senses: Hearing, Seeing, Tasting, Feeling, Smelling

Workers: Fireman, Doctors, Nurses, Pulpwood Dealers (this is what my daddy did at the time), City Workers, Farmers, Radiomen

Transportation: Bycicle, Automobiles, Airplane, Train, Jet, Rockets

Christen Life: Church, Music, Preacher, Deacons, Elders, Missionaries

Movie Stars: Hayley Mills, Kevin Corcoran, Doris Day, Peter McEnery

Machines: Television, Radio, Intercom

Keystone Camp!

Nature: Birds, Trees, Plants, Animals, Music, Smell, Wonders

And that is just a little bit of what I’m thankful for. Cindy Secrest, Thanksgiving 1965

If I could just sit down and write out 70 things on my thankful list (in categories, no less) back when I had only lived a dozen years, then surely today I can list at least 770! I think if I start now, I’ll have enough for a ‘ticket’ to Thanksgiving dinner… Want to join me?

under the mercy, Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

FOR THOSE WHO SERVE…

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

So, I’m crying while watching “60 Minutes” this week as a very young soldier weeps about his experiencees in Iraq. Wondering if he will ever be able to get on with his life and heal from the battlescars… I can’t help but think of so many other young soldiers through the years who have put their lives on the line… for us! On Veteran’s Day we remember and thank all those who serve our country.

Pratt Secrest - U.S. Air Force

Of course I’m remembering my favorite Veteran and the one I miss most right now – Daddy. November 12th would have been his 87th birthday, but this one he’s celebrating in Heaven… My father, Pratt Secrest, was one of the Greatest Generation who served during both World War II (Air Force pilot) and the Korean War (Information officer/journalist). Can you even imagine training to be a bomber pilot at age eighteen? What responsibility at such a young age… When Daddy turned twenty he wrote down some of his thoughts after a war-torn year, in his poem “Outlook”

Sometimes I look at life through the span

Of twenty years without a caravan

Of thoughts to bring a sweet and low refrain,

A song to penetrate endless rain.

In spite of hopes to think of things I love,

I find that memory honors only tears.

In vain I lift my eyes to look above

The strife and death of conflict-shattered years.

Oh, men of earth! You know that war’s release

Is only through the God of Lasting Peace!

- Pratt Secrest, 1944

Cindy with Lt. Col. Tony Monetti & Penny Monetti

This past summer I had the privilege of meeting Tony & Penny Monetti who are committed to helping other military families. Here’s how Tony addressed the question so many people ask in our day and age: “Why do American servicemen and women voluntarily serve in the military? What gives us the courage to potentially lay down our lives for our nation? After 23 years of service with our joint force, I know why. We serve because we believe that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. We sacrifice because we share an ideal of service over self and an unshakeable belief in America and her values. America stands for freedom, providing opportunities for people to live their dreams… Our country’s founding fathers risked their lives for this ideal and serve as an example to us. In our country’s history, many have died to protect this ideal… If there is one thing I know after serving with American soldiers, airmen, and marines, it is that our character of service over self binds us together… We must continue holding the torch of freedom, for we are America’s hope for a better tomorrow.” (Tony & Penny Monetti in “Called to Serve”)

Daddy was one of those ‘called to serve’, and even as a young airman, Pratt Secrest, chose to use humor to get through tough times…  Here is his take on First Aid training during flight school in his poem “First Aid”

"I only want to fly!"

I’ve studied blood and bleeding, and cuts from ear to ear,

And what to put on punctures when the doctor isn’t here.

With digital compression I’m supposed to be a whiz,

But actually, my technique’s wrong, I’m really just a ‘fizz.’

And if the victim has a bone that’s broken, torn or bent,

I proudly put a bandage on (resembling a tent).

The teacher made me volunteer to be a case of rabies.

(If this continues, soon I’ll be delivering little babies!)

So give me no more bruises, burns, incisions, lacerations.

If anybody mentiones blood, I’ll change the conversation.

You keep your dern old First Aid stuff, I only want to fly!

And if I ever get a wound.. So help me, I’ll just die.

- Pratt Secrest, Flight School 1943 (age 19)

Let’s all take time today and this week to Pray for all those men and women who have served and continue to serve our country. Here is a prayer I use for such times…

under the mercy, Cindy

“O Prince of Peace, we humbly ask Your protection for all our men and women in military service. Give them unflinching courage to defend with honor, dignity and devotion the rights of all who are imperiled by injustice and evil. Guard our churches, our homes, our schools, our hospitals, our factories, our buildings, and all those within from harm and peril. Protect our land and its people from enemies within and without. Grant an early peace with victory founded upon justice. Instill in the hearts and minds of me and women everywhere a firm purpose to live forever in peace and good will towards all. Amen.”

 copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

WHO ARE ‘ALL SAINTS’?

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell 

So, I guess I’ve been teary all month. Missing people who have gone Home. In October, every time I see creepy/crass Halloween stuff, I tend to re-focus on All Saints Day instead (November 1)… Which makes me think of those who kept the faith and are now interceding for us with God.

Yes, I know many of my tears are delayed grief at the loss of Daddy this summer, but there are other significant anniversary reminders too. Perhaps the most significant in my own life is that 30 years ago this week Inka — the birth mother of my first three children — died of liver cancer. A godly woman I never knew, but can’t wait to meet in Heaven. We are forever tied together — for indeed, we love all the same people!

And I also just received a “Save the Date” card for the spring wedding of my lifelong best friend’s daughter. It has now been 13 years since I helped her, as a middle schooler, get dressed for her mother’s funeral. While amazingly proud of Lauren’s life path, I’m so very sad that Cax made a choice which results in her not being Mother of the Bride…. Speaking of which, this week is also the 3 year anniversary of the sudden death of my future son-in-law’s father. When Stephen and his mama visited us last weekend from Texas, we watched a video of Tom’s life (shown at his funeral) and I weep even now to know that Maggie will never have this man for a father-in-law while all those left behind still miss him so…

This is also the season that Mike’s good friend Ed Curtis died suddenly from a heart attack. When I took his wife, Faith, home from the hospital (carrying a manila envelope with his ‘personal effects’ – such a sobering reminder of what’s left) I’ll never forget pushing the ‘play’ button on her voice mail and hearing Ed’s call earlier in the day: “Hey hon, just wanted to call and tell you I’m praying you have a great day. See ya soon…”  Sorta makes you want to phone someone right now, doesn’t it?

Grief for those who have died this year is inevitable whether you are mourning for Steve Jobs, Elizabeth Taylor or John Stott. Or Pratt Secrest…

“Do not hurry as you walk with grief; it does not help the journey. Walk slowly, pausing often: do not hurry as you walk with grief. Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden. Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words. Unfinished conversations will be resolved in Him. Be not disturbed. Be gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often. Take time, be gentle as you walk with grief…” (Northumbria Community)

I know that death is an inevitable part of life. I’m one of those people who get frustrated with those who constantly say “if I die..” and I have to bite my tongue not to correct them with “It’s when I die, we’re all gonna die!” That’s reality. And the reality is also that the older we get, the more loved ones we have on the other side…

That’s why I love celebrating All Saints Day (Nov. 1) and All Soul’s Day (Nov. 2) because even though some think only the canonized are ‘saints’, the Bible recognizes all Christians as ‘saints.’ We remember the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before us in the faith, stretching across the centuries and around the globe. “However hard it might seem to follow the way of Jesus in our own time and place, this is a day to remember that we may be crazy, but we are not alone.” (Common Prayer for Nov. 1^st)

So…. if you, like me, find yourself teary occasionally as you trudge this journey of faith and fortitude, seeking to persevere amidst all that says give up, then remember those words, “we may be crazy, but we are not alone!”  Maybe, just maybe, if we’re quiet enough, we can hear the angels singing…over us…and for us…

“Almighty God, with Whom still live the spirits of those who die in the Lord, and with Whom the souls of the faithful are in joy and felicity: I give You heartfelt thanks for the good examples of all Your servants, who, having finished their course in faith, now find rest and refreshment. May I, with all who have died in the true faith of Your Holy Name, have perfect fulfillment and bliss in Your eternal and everlasting glory; through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.” (Divine Hours)

Let saints on earth in concert sing

With those whose work is done;

For all the servants of our King

In heaven and earth are one. (Charles Wesley)

under the mercy, Cindy

©2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

WELCOME HOME

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

Have you been in a far country? A country of climb and push and shove? A country of noise and hurry and crowds? God wants to welcome you Home to peace and serenity and joy… and meditative prayer will help guide the journey.

More than 20 years ago Richard Foster, like many of us authors, was bogged down in research for a new book and was at the point of discouragement and overload, ready to abandon the project. But, in an inexplicable moment, he saw the heart of God as an open wound of love and heard God’s words “Tell my people, tell my children, that my heart is broken. Their distance and their preoccupation wound me. Tell them. Tell my children to come home.”

With renewed vigor, he did go on to finish that project (“Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home”) as well as another book that just came out this month, “Sanctuary of the Soul” – both of which help travelers like you and me learn prayer as a holy habit, culminating in transformation. “We never thought in our wildest dreams that we would ever want to be a holy person. But now that is exactly what we long for, to be holy in a strong, winsome, vigorous sense. And the most amazing change of all is we begin living each day under a new power – owned by God and responding accordingly.”

This past summer the folks at InterVarsity Press gave me an ARC (advanced reader’s copy) of “Sanctuary of the Soul” – just in time to read on my quiet holiday by the turquoise sea…  Because I, too, have felt God calling me to contemplation and silence and long periods of prayer (for many people and in a variety of ways). I, too, feel that “distraction is the primary spiritual problem of our day.” And so, I have journeyed into meditative prayer for several years now and find myself evangelistic in encouraging others to pursue this path as well.

A great place to start (or continue) would be with this excellent book, subtitled “—Journey into Meditative Prayer.” This small volume truly combines the biblical teaching as well as step-by-step practices to help make this spiritual discipline a regular part of life. I especially appreciated Foster’s personal stories illustrating his own struggles and victories in this area. In fact, I’d like to use his own words in closing:

          “As best I can, I am telling you that God is welcoming you and God is welcoming me home, home to where we belong, home to that for which we were created.  We need not be afraid. God’s arms are stretched out wide to take us in. God’s heart is large enough to receive us. Welcome to the Living Room of God’s love, where we can put on old slippers and share freely. Welcome to the Kitchen of God’s friendship, where chatter and batter mix in good fun. Welcome to the Dining Room of God’s strength, where we can feast to our heart’s delight. Welcome to the Study of God’s wisdom, where we can grow and stretch and ask all the questions we want. Welcome to the Workshop of God’s creativity, where we become co-laborers with God. Welcome to the Bedroom of God’s rest, where new peace is found. Jesus is the doorway into this home that is the heart of God, and prayer is the key…Welcome home. Welcome to the sanctuary of the soul.”

                            – Richard Foster in “Sanctuary of the Soul”

under the mercy,

Cindy

FRIENDING

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

In some ways I guess the word ‘friend’ has always been a verb to me. I grew up with “In order to have a friend, you must first be a friend” – which seems to imply action. Thus, I have spent a lifetime ‘friending’ a whole variety of people and finding myself greatly enriched in the process. Along the way I’ve learned that both giving and receiving friendship take intentionality, humility, sacrifice, time, resources and lots of forbearance. But, oh, the benefits! To quote the Beatles “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Ahh, yes! Actually, this summer I got by with a lot of help (encouragement, support, and sympathy) from my friends far and wide…

In truth, the past three months have been a time of both engaging and disengaging from friends. Since my husband has been on sabbatical I have greatly missed regular interaction with our local church family, but I’ve had other opportunities to reconnect with childhood friends at a reunion, professional colleagues at a convention and scattered extended family at a funeral. I have chosen to spend some of my alone times in study, deep thought and solitude. And one of the great books I was able to read was from Lynne Baab who teaches and writes from New Zealand —“Friending.”

Of course some people have thousands of friends on facebook and obviously cannot maintain any sort of real relationship with them (I realize this is especially true of we authors whose readers want to be our facebook friends). But why not? As long as we all know the level of intention here. Baab responds to people who protest that facebook and other forms of social networking are places where superficial relationships are fostered: “I find myself wondering why a broad network of relationships with acquaintances would be considered to be a bad thing. As long as a person has some close relationships that are nurtured carefully, having a wide circle of acquaintances is usually enriching and beneficial.”

“Friending” covers so much about the history of friendships and the new trends that are changing how we be a friend to one other. I greatly enjoyed this book and highly recommend it as it presents both sides of the whole social networking debate. But it also makes a point of showing that indeed ‘friend’ is a verb and takes initiation and follow-through, no matter what the medium. Sometimes I have been good about that with my friends, and sometimes I have been sorely lacking. Fortunately, true friends are able to both give and receive a lot of grace and forgiveness!

I’m glad Lynne Baab is one of my friends (she is also a contributing author to my book “30 Ways to Embrace Life.”) I’d like to close this blog with her words on friendship:

“Every act of friendship, large or small, builds a bridge. Every act of loving friendship brings healing balm to this broken world. Small gestures like passing on a compliment or sending a postcard, and large sacrificial deeds like flying across country to help a friend after surgery, are like stones in a bridge linking people together. ..Every act of friendship, whether it is well received or not, transforms us into people who know a little bit more deeply what it means to be a neighbor to the people around us. Friendship transforms us, even as it brings healing, reconciliation and warmth to the world.” 

-Lynne Baab in “Friending – Real Relationships in a Virtual World” (IVP 2011)

under the mercy, Cindy

©2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

TRIBUTE

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

        Daddy spoke at his own funeral. Sounds weird? Believe me, it wasn’t. His pastor had saved a tape of Daddy’s 1987 Testimony and when his clear, younger and vibrant voice began we all literally ‘looked around.’ It was pure ‘Pratt Secrest’ — the man who enthralled crowds all over the world with his words of inspiration, challenge and humor. In these final words to a congregation who had come to both mourn and honor him (the entire Rotary Club sat en masse front and center), Daddy shared how he had gone from being a ‘churchgoer’ to having a vibrant, personal relationship with the living Christ. He ended with the lyrics of a favorite gospel hymn, “the Savior is waiting to enter your heart….why don’t you let Him come in?”

Recently, we found a letter dated August 6, 1981 (written exactly 30 years ago to the day he died) that Daddy sent to us and his pastor. It began “I never felt better and have NO premonitions, but think it prudent to let you know how I would like my final rites to be when the time comes…” Then he went on, requesting hymns for a praise and celebration service… “This should be a very happy occasion because my entire life has been blessed by all my family, friends and church family, and I’ve had a wonderful life thanks to all these and a JOYFUL one…”

And so we celebrated his life. My dear husband co-officiated…Justin read Psalm 23 (perfectly, I might add, a true miracle.) Tim read “High Flight” a poem Daddy, a WWII bomber pilot, loved which ends “reached out my hand and touched the face of God…” My nephew read scripture, my brother in law played guitar and sang beautifully “My Jesus, I Love Thee,” sister Cathy read an original poem (a tradition in our family), sister Susan read Daddy’s journal entry from 1975 “If I knew this would be the last day of my life…”, daughter Maggie closed the service with an angelic and heartfelt singing of “The Lord’s Prayer” and I? Well, I spoke as a Daughter, not a professional speaker. Only a few words… but I shall share them here with you. That is, if you are still reading this long and personal blog…

Why Pratt Secrest Was the Best Father in the Whole World!

 I’m Cindy, the middle one. Daddy was a middle child too. We had a few things in common… I would like to share why Pratt Secrest was simply the best father in the whole world. There are hundreds of reasons, but I’ll be brief and offer you only four:

 He LIVED AUTHENTICALLY. The public person known by many was the same man we knew at home. Yes, he really was that much fun, that creative, that generous, that visionary, wise, faith-filled, smart, versatile, compassionate, a good leader, loving, organized, optimistic, honest, affirming and musical.  We never had to wonder what he’d be like on any given day – he was simply an Original. The Real Deal.

 He LOVED MY MOTHER Someone once said “The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.” My parents were married more than 62 years. Daddy loved Mama well.

 He was a GREAT ENCOURAGER Daddy was my best cheerleader. He believed in me and urged me to live fully — a life of adventure, daring to try new things. He told me I was smart and talented and beautiful and fathers don’t lie! He led me to believe that I could BE and DO whatever God called me to! Long before it was popular, Daddy was the Ultimate Life Coach.  And I bet he encouraged you too!

 He LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY. This is actually the most important reason of all. There has not been a single day of my life that I wasn’t absolutely sure of his complete love. And most of those days he told me how much he loved me. Yes, even in our final days together recently he was still saying it over and over again. (Now, if Daddy were writing this script he would say, ‘Turn to the audience and ask “Is there someone YOU need to love unconditionally today?”) This was absolutely the Best Gift. Because of my earthly father’s love, I was able to embrace and receive the love of my Heavenly Father. Daddy taught me about God’s Love.

 One night when I was almost two years old Daddy set up his elaborate reel to reel tape recorder, stuck a microphone in my little face and I, of course, began to sing: ‘Jesus Loves me, this I know. For the, for the, …what for the, Daddy?’ Loud stage whisper – ‘for the Bible’  Little Cindy continues singing ‘for the Bible tells me so.’  You will be delighted to know that I have now mastered all the lyrics to that song, but far more importantly I have spent a lifetime living the truth behind them because of Daddy. (Then I sang “Jesus Loves Me”)     I Love You Daddy!

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Earlier this summer I spent one whole day listening to 6 hours of Daddy’s taped piano playing and storytelling from 1994. What a treasure those are — he played the standards and I know the words to every single song from the ‘40s and ‘50s because of growing up with them. Anyway, my assigned task from the family was to somehow reduce all this to a 30 minute Piano Mix so that we could play it at Visitation during a slide show (and give each grandchild a copy). How to choose only 30 minutes? Hard, but with the help of friends Wayne and Racquel this task was completed just in time. I play it all the time now…

Since I often sing the Standards as love songs to my family, I will close this blog with a song to Daddy. Perhaps you know it from composer Johnny Mercer…

I remember you.

You’re the one who made my dreams come true…

When my life is through,

And the angels ask me to recall

The thrill of it all,

I will tell them

I remember YOU…

under the mercy, Cindy

©2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

My family with Mama after Daddy's Celebration of Life

NATHANIEL PRATT SECREST

1924-2011

A man of faith, devoted to family, friends and community, Pratt Secrest lived out his favorite motto — “A Great Day to Be Alive!” — sharing encouragement with all whom he encountered. Born November 12, 1924 in Athens, Georgia to the late Edgar Lee Secrest and Evelyn Pratt Secrest, he served in the Army Air Corps as a bomber pilot during World War II and a Public Information Officer during the Korean War.  After earning his degree in Journalism and Public Relations from the University of Georgia, Secrest moved to Thomasville to manage a new radio station. He married the love of his life, Sarah Hasty, and spent 25+ years as president of Secrest Pulpwood and Timber, becoming Director of the American Pulpwood Association and Georgia Forestry Commission. Later, as a realtor, Secrest founded “First Thomasville Realty” and was named President of the Southwest Georgia Board of Realtors – developing some fine local neighborhoods such as Tall Pines, Victorian Square and A Place in the Woods.

Loving his adopted homeland of Thomasville, Secrest invested in the community through leadership in the Chamber of Commerce, City Commission, Salvation Army Board, YMCA, Arts Guild and Historical Society. He was a founding member and Director of the Board of Brookwood School and was a Director of the Commercial Bank. After joining the Thomasville Rotary Club in 1947, Secrest served Rotary on every level – local to international – as Club President, District Governor, International Director, and Aide to the President. He was a Paul Harris fellow and received the international Polio Plus Pioneers Award. Accompanied by Sarah, he gave inspirational speeches on four continents as one of Rotary’s best goodwill ambassadors.

Pratt Secrest was a gifted communicator, storyteller, outdoorsman, pianist, poet and songwriter who greatly enjoyed people. In 1995, Thomasville city officials adopted the song, “Thomasville The Beautiful” (sung to the tune of “America the Beautiful”) as the official city song. “Secrest said he wrote the song while thinking about how wonderful the city is, and wanted to show his appreciation for the town. He dedicated the song to his wife, Sarah.” He is also the author of two poetry books “For Better or Verse” and “Montreat – A Very Special Place.” He also relished God’s Creation both at his Thomas County “Brookside” farm and also his Blue Ridge mountain home in Montreat NC. He was privileged through the years to be part of the church families of both First Baptist and First Presbyterian in Thomasville.

A follower of Christ his entire life, Pratt Secrest was grateful for his loving family and countless opportunities to leave the world a little better than he found it, a legacy that can be summed up best in his own word, written in 1968:

“Make the most of every minute! Put every hope and effort in it!

And when it’s gone, don’t stop and stare…another minute’s waiting there!

God gives us all the same amount of minutes in each day to count,

Will we be proud, when life is done, of how we used each priceless one?”

Nathaniel Pratt Secrest is survived by his wife of 62 years, Sarah Hasty Secrest of Thomasville GA; three daughters and sons-in-law – Cathy Secrest Ray and Hank (Oklahoma), Lucinda Secrest McDowell and Michael (Connecticut) and Susan Secrest Waters and Glen (Thomasville GA); nine grand-children – Catharine Ray Russell (Michael), Henry Ray (Chris), Pratt Ray (Nicole), Justin McDowell, Timothy McDowell, Fiona McDowell, Maggie McDowell, Sarah Waters and Rachel Waters; and six great-grandsons – Madison, Brayden, and Landen Russell, Griffin and Carter Ray and Lincoln Ray. He was preceded in death by his brother E. Lee Secrest,  Jr. and his sister Katrina Poole Froelich.

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be made in honor of Pratt Secrest to the Thomasville Salvation Army Community Services, 514 North Madison Street Thomasville, GA 31792; Thomasville Rotary Club Scholarship Fund, P.O. Box 1277, Thomasville, GA. 31799; or Brookwood School, 301 Cardinal Ridge Road, Thomasville, GA 31792

Visitors may sign the online guest register at www.allenfh.com. ALLEN & ALLEN FUNERAL HOME

COUNTING GIFTS

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

Making a “Thankful List” is nothing new to me…I’ve been doing it since childhood when our list was the ‘ticket’ to Thanksgiving dinner. But, of course, knowing we should practice gratitude every day and even every moment, I have in recent years become more intentional about thanking God for everything – both big and small of life. Poet George Herbert (1593-1633) once prayed “Thou hast given so much to me. Give me one more thing — a grateful heart.”

     In order to cultivate my Grateful Heart this year I purchased a bunch of very small page-a-day books, printed labels with the names of my husband, kids and a few friends, and gave them out – suggesting that Every Day of 2011 we all write One Gratitude to God. The intent was to live with an attitude of gratitude and that by the end of this year we could all look back at many, many blessings (at least 365!) Well, it’s now the eighth month and I am still writing my daily blessings (as is Mike – I know that because I live with him). Don’t know if anyone else did it and it really doesn’t matter….

So when I recently began to hear chatter about a “new” and “wonderful” book by an unknown (to me) author which focused on a Thankful List of “One Thousand Gifts,” I’ll admit I wasn’t running out to buy it immediately. Still, after getting tired of seeing so many folks carrying that book around airports, waiting rooms and (gasp) retreats where I was the speaker, I finally gave in and bought the book, planning to read it during my ‘working holiday’ in Bermuda.

Full disclosure here: I am now a  huge fan of Ann Voskamp’s “One Thousand Gifts.” Honestly, if I had the money I would buy gift copies for all the people I love. I really can’t explain why it touched me so much except that Ann (a farmer’s wife and mother of six) sees the world and God through amazing word pictures she is able to write with such simplicity and poetry that the reader is literally transported. Even her gratitude list makes mine look like a mere grocery list….but that’s okay, because God is glad to be praised, no matter how eloquently. Or not. I guess just knowing others out there are ‘listing blessings’ gives validation to my own need to express daily thanks to the Giver.

Listen to what Ann hears God saying while holding her sleeping five-year-old daughter:  “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends. Did you think I end, that I will not be enough? But I am infinite, child. If My goodnesses toward you end, I will cease to exist, child. As long as there is a God in heaven, there is grace on earth and I am the spilling God of the uncontainable, forever-overflowing-love-grace.

“I wrap a thread of her curls around a finger. I stare into that face conceived in love, reflecting love, and I feel His fall soft on me. I am child in His arms and His breath falls warm upon my face and what I feel for this daughter He feels for me, and the gifts, all these gifts I keep counting, they are His love gifts and they’re slowly waking me up to the tenderest, fiercest Love of all.

“Cradling this child, her eyelashes fluttering, her breath rising and falling in sure and steady rhythm, I know it in the pulsing, real, surest kind of way: ‘Perfect love casts out all fear.’ His love has done that.

“The table still needs to be cleared. The bowls washed. The bread put away. Snow falls in the dark, white on a barn roof. I can’t imagine what deep layers of my wounds eucharisteo will gently peel back to heal, but I take her sleeping hand and trace the lines of her skin and I keep on counting blessings to keep on remembering to keep on walking out into the unknown.

“I clutch soul bread and a Perfect Love that knows no end.”

(Ann Voskamp, “One Thousand Gifts” pages 161-162) 

I’m probably one of the very last people to finally read this book, as the author has a very interactive website and blog and speaking/serving ministry (somehow in addition to her homeschooling six kids and working a farm…) But if for some reason you haven’t read it yet, I hope you will. And I hope we all will continue to list thousands and thousands of gifts we experience every single day as God’s Beloved children.  In fact, you can even Click to download an August Gratitude List Calendar from Ann here http://www.aholyexperience.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/august.gratitudelist.pdf   Or you can do what I did and spend a dollar for a little 3×4 booklet that lasts a whole year.

I’m so glad I got over myself and finally bought and read “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. I would certainly like to meet her one day. We seem to enjoy all the same authors.  I totally agree that I have been given far, far more than I deserve. As G.K. Chesterton once wrote:

                Here dies another day

           During which I have had eyes, ears, hands

         And the great world round me;

      And with tomorrow begins another.

                   Why am I allowed two?

under the mercy,

Cindy