Resilience

Resilience

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

We only have one small tree in our front yard.  By choice. When we downsized last year from a 5 bedroom colonial parsonage to a much smaller cape cod cottage, we deliberately chose a yard that required little upkeep. But this pink dogwood sits right outside the bay window of our porch and is a beautiful focal point throughout each season.

October 2011

Back in October it was laden with leaves when a freak 12-inch snow-and-ice-storm hit Connecticut and left us without power for a week. Ice usually just crystallizes bare limbs in winter, but this time it covered the leaves, the heavy weight bringing every branch to the ground. By the time all was melted, we had lost more than half of the tree. What a sad sight. It look chopped up and forlorn. I wondered all winter if that little tree would make it… The elements of the years had been brutal at times; this final blow…

April 2012

On this late April day I glance out to see beautiful pink blossoms on a seemingly-full dogwood tree! Spring has come and our little-tree-that-could is once again blossoming and cheery. What a story of resilience and perseverance! And how much more beautiful it is to me because I remember the loss, the broken limbs, the heavy weight of ice…

Resilient has two distinct definitions: 1. returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched. 2. recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity or the like; buoyant.

Sarah Hasty Secrest - Then

My mother — Sarah Hasty Secrest – is like our little tree. She perseveres! Next month my sisters and I will take Mama on a special celebration journey for her 85th birthday. I’m delighted to make some more memories amongst those who know me best…the Secrest gals.

Just like our dogwood, Mama has experienced unexpected storms that weighed her down and even broke off a few bits. In recent months she said goodbye to her husband of 62 years (my Daddy) after an especially challenging decade for both of them. She is a widow and she is in constant physical pain.

Sarah Hasty Secrest - Now

But Mama is also very resilient. She has forged through the past months, learning new roles and responsibilities and determining to live as fully as possible, even with some physical limitations. I admire her for that and I hope to be that strong when I am 85…

Perhaps it is no coincidence that Mama’s birthday falls on Mother’s Day weekend. I literally cannot wait to celebrate with her and two of my other favorite mothers (my sisters). But I also hope to sit at her feet and soak up even more lifelong wisdom of how to persevere, how to bounce back, how to keep going in a grace-filled, grateful manner.

Storms will come.

Ice will make us brittle sometimes and lead to loss and brokeness.

But Spring will also come.

When it does, we can choose to turn our faces towards the Sun and wear our most beautiful garments of pink, shouting to the world “I’m still here and God is faithful!”

Happy Birthday Mama. You are beautiful.

“She is strong and respected and not afraid of the future. She speaks with a gentle wisdom. She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs. Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her… Charm is deceptive and beauty disappears, but a woman who honors the Lord should be praised. Give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.”                (Proverbs 31.25-31 Good News Bible)

                     

under the mercy, Cindy

copyright 2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

People in Pain

 by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

Our Connecticut community was traumatized this week with the horrific accidental death of 6-year-old Jeffrey who was helping his father in the yard and fell into a wood chipper — dying in front of his helpless dad and young siblings. Upon hearing this news, I found I couldn’t process it emotionally and tried to block my mind and heart from ‘going there’ because putting myself in that family’s place was almost more than I could bear… and yet they are having to live through the nightmare… and my heart weeps for them.
And for many others just this week…

* A dear friend who had to face some uncertain medical results on the same day her lifelong friend was told that cancer had invaded her entire body.
* A young mom delivered her first baby at 2 lbs, but way too early…
* A fine man who has been unemployed for over a year has experienced another disappointment in the seemingly unending job search.
* An octogenarian feels old and lonely and her body is in pain all the time.
*A dear friend in her nineties shared with me the grief of losing her younger sister this week.
*The roller coaster of life and circumstances caused an emotional meltdown in someone who is usually strong and juggles a lot.
*A future son-in-law lost his grandfather this week and a far away friend said goodbye to her precious Daddy. And another friend who has experienced way too much loss in 2012 watched her favorite pet die, my best friend’s mentor died and today another author friend’s son died…
*Loved ones are struggling with relationship-building while living far apart.
*After more than three decades of marriage, a husband and wife have separated.
*A young couple is doing everything possible to begin a family…

These are just a few situations that intersected my life and were added to my prayer list this in the last few days. Pain and sorrow and suffering on many levels. But it’s all around us, isn’t it? And when such things come my way I desperately want to ‘fix it’ or comfort or ‘solve’ or somehow point to a direction of hope (whether or not the timing is right for them to hear it).

Full confession here: Sometimes I feel tremendous weight from the burdens of so many who are suffering. I wake up thinking of them and praying for them and hurting for them… I usually come on down to my little corner of the porch and pray and turn to the Psalms or hymns or prayers of others who know all too well — “He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief…” (Isaiah speaking of Christ).

If YOU are in Pain…

If you are one of those dear people in pain today, may I suggest the Psalms of Lament — certain psalms which are really prayers where one speaks honestly to God about what he is going through, then turns to God for specific help that he knows will come. See how Psalm 102 shows us that truly He ‘knows how we feel’ in such times of suffering:

(“Here is what I’m going through, God!”)  Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold. I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me. But I keep praying to you, Lord, hoping this time you will show me favor. In your unfailing love, O God, answer my prayer with your sure salvation. (Psalm 102.1-5 NLB)

(“Here’s what gives me hope, God!”) Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful. Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful. Don’t hide from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble! Come and redeem me; free me from my enemies. I am suffering and in pain. Rescue me, O God, by your saving power. Then I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving. (Psalm 102.16-17, 29-30 NLB)
Praying such a psalm reminds me that God knows my Problem, but He also holds my Solution. Mostly, He is there to hear my Lament…and to respond.

You may also find comfort in singing words such as the ones George Matheson wrote to his fiance deserted him because he went blind: “O Joy that seekest me in pain, I cannot close my heart to Thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not vain, that morn shall tearless be.” (‘O Love that Will Not Let Me Go’ 1882)

For OTHERS in Pain…

Both scripture and hymnody set the stage for embracing hope, but the practical me wants to know “What can I DO for you in your suffering?” It seems, not very much. All I came up with is a short list, but perhaps an important one:

1. PRAY.    If we say we will pray for someone in need, then we must do it immediately (yes, even on the phone or whilst driving) but also write it in our prayer journal for remembering them before the throne of grace over and over again. Do not pass along their request to anyone else (or, heaven forbid, the church prayer chain) unless you have received permission and the exact wording to do so.

“Lord God, in Your compassion, come close to those who cry out in pain, to all who are sleepless with worry, and to any who are physically or mentally wounded. Convince us that what matters in healing is not a magic formula, or a special form of prayer, but simply the willingness to enlarge our trust in Your presence. May Your presence encourage those who nurse and tend the sick or wait and weep as loved ones cling to life. Amen.” (Jane Grayshorn “In Times of Pain”)

2. CONTACT. Sometimes the best way is through a handwritten note which can be referred to over and over again. One can even slip in a prayer card or some verses or a vintage handkerchief. More practical to many folks is contact by telephone or email to remind those suffering that you have not forgotten and are standing with them. A great way of contact is practical help, such as food, childcare, restaurant gift card, housecleaning, etc. However, don’t ask, just deliver the gift.

3. REMIND. What would I say to that grieving family? That suffering woman? That discouraged young man? I would simply remind them of God’s Love and God’s Presence. That the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe knows what they are suffering and is alongside them throughout the journey. “Apart from the presence of God, there is no deep healing fo our grief. Time can make it easier but that is all. The good news when our hearts are broken is that God invites us to fully mourn in the great space of His Loving Presence. Our pain does not threaten Him; it does not cause Him to fear that we will ruin His reputation. He is not repulsed with the ugliness we feel. Even when we hurt so much that we can hardly bear it, we are still His Beloved.” (Sally Breedlove in ‘Choosing Rest’)

It’s a new week and I daresay there will be many more prayer requests coming my way, needs and concerns that could be overwhelming if I believed I had to ‘fix’ and ‘carry’ them alone. But, since it’s not all about me, I am choosing to listen, enter in, and then gently point them in the direction of Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.

Do you know the Swedish hymn, “Children of the Heavenly Father” – it’s beautiful and often sung at funerals of those who die young. In thinking of that grieving Connecticut family, I sing this to them and really, to all of us.

Neither life nor death shall ever, from the Lord His children sever;

unto them His grace He showeth, and their sorrows all He knoweth.

Though He giveth and He taketh, God His children ne’er forsaketh;

His the loving purpose solely to preserve them pure and holy.”

(Caroline Sandell Berg 1855)

under the mercy, Cindy

Click for a helpful article “How NOT To Minister to the Hurting”

copyright 2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

Holy Week Prayers and Songs

HOLY WEEK PRAYERS & SONGS

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

As Holy Week begins, my thoughts turn to this significant part of the Christian year and I want to observe it with both reverence and celebration. Easter is the most important Christian festival, and the one celebrated with the greatest joy. Without Easter there would be no Christianity. Without Jesus’ suffering, his execution and subsequent resurrection there would be no Christianity, for however terrible the suffering was, it was part of God’s plan for the salvation of humankind. The week before Easter, known as Holy Week, is very special in the Christian tradition. The Sunday before Easter is Palm Sunday and the last three days before Easter are Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday. Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday respectively commemorate Jesus’ entry in Jerusalem, the Last Supper and the Crucifixion. Easter Sunday (and every Sunday) commemorates the Resurrection of Jesus Christ!  I hope you will join me in these special prayers and songs, as well as your own times of silence, worship and contemplation of God’s great gift of Grace and Mercy through Jesus Christ.

Palm Sunday

“What a strange paradox; the King is coming, the people rejoice, singing ‘Hosanna in the highest!’ yet fail to understand that the King they welcome is the Servant King, the King who washes his disciples’ feet, the King who came not with an army but a weapon so powerful that not even death could resist, the sacrificial love of God laid out upon a Cross. Lord God, as we sing our ‘Hosannas’ today may we remember also that which you were riding toward the suffering and rejection, pain and humiliation, the cruel Cross. And let us look forward to the joy of Easter Day when you rose from death to reign forever. Help us, as we daily lay our lives before you, to live the resurrection life that acknowledges Jesus as Lord and King over our lives. Amen.”

Good Friday

“Lord, we come to the cross, in Your mercy, hear us. Almighty Father, look with mercy on this Your family for which our Lord Jesus Christ was content to be betrayed and given up into the hands of sinners and to suffer death upon the cross; who is alive and glorified with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.”

Good Friday Vigil

“O Jesus, Who by reason of Thy burning love for us hast willed to be crucified and to shed Thy Most precious blood for the redemption and salvation of our souls, look down upon us here gathered together in remembrance of Thy most sorrowful Passion and Death, fully trusting in Thy mercy; cleanse us from sin by Thy grace, sanctify our toil, give unto us and unto all those who are dear to us our daily bread, sweeten our sufferings, bless our families, and to the nations so sorely afflicted, grant Thy peace, which is the only true peace, so that by obeying Thy commandments we may come at last to the glory of heaven. Amen.”

Easter Sunday

Christ is Risen: The world below lies desolate
Christ is Risen: The spirits of evil are fallen

Christ is Risen: The angels of God are rejoicing
Christ is Risen: The tombs of the dead are empty
Christ is Risen indeed from the dead,
the first of the sleepers,
Glory and power are his forever and ever!

St. Hippolytus (AD 190-236)

Easter Resurrection Day – Was It A Morning Like This? (Sandi Patty)

“It is only right, with all the powers of our heart and mind, to praise You Father and Your Only-begotten Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ:
Dear Father, by Your wondrous condescension of loving-kindness toward us,Your servants, You gave up Your Son.
Dear Jesus You paid the debt of Adam for us to the Eternal Father by Your blood poured forth in lovingkindness.
You cleared away the darkness of sin by Your magnificent and radiant Resurrection.
You broke the bonds of death and rose from the grave as a Conqueror.
You reconciled heaven and earth. Our life had no hope of eternal happiness before You redeemed us.
Your Resurrection has washed away our sins, restored our innocence and brought us joy.
How inestimable is the tenderness of Your love!”

Saint Gregory the Great’s Easter Prayer

“God our Father, by raising Christ your Son you conquered the power of death and opened for us the way to eternal life. Let our celebration today raise us up and renew our lives by the Spirit that is within us. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

under the mercy, Cindy

www.EncouragingWords.net

copyright 2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

A Lifetime of Help

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

These days I am immersed in the encouraging book of Psalms as I seek to meet my latest writing deadline — a new Bible Study “A Thankful Heart.” As someone who prays the psalms daily, I am continually amazed at the fresh message from familiar verses. God’s Word is always relevant and appropriate for our daily needs. And nowhere is that more evident than in the poetry and prayer and praise of the psalms.

Today I was reading Psalm 71 — thankful for God’s Help through the years… “Those who pray the psalms are aware that, in spite of their own infidelities to God over the years, God has nonetheless remained faithful. Second century Bishop Polycarp, when pressured to either renounce his faith or die a violent death, said ‘For eighty-six years have I served Him, and He has done me no wrong. How can I blaspheme the King who saved me?‘” (Christ in the Psalms by Patrick Henry Reardon)  Here are some of my own thoughts as I work through Psalm 71…

SAFETY

¹ O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced. ² Save me and rescue me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me, and set me free. Is there a situation or habit in your life right now that you desperately need to be freed from? Are you fearful of the consequences of threatening circumstances (or even people) in your life? May I suggest that when these times come, we also turn to God for protection and pray these verses.

SEASONS

⁹ And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside. Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing. ¹⁰ For my enemies are whispering against me. They are plotting together to kill me. ¹¹ They say, “God has abandoned him. Let’s go and get him, for no one will help him now.” Are you simply exhausted from the battles of life? Are you in a season where body, mind and soul are beginning to weaken in some ways? Do you ever feel like a forgotten person, as if no one knows what you are going through and worse, no one cares? Be careful, because in such fragile seasons, we leave a crack in our spiritual armor for the enemy to come and inflict great harm on us emotionally and spiritually. If you are at such a point in life, send up what I like to call an ‘arrow prayer’ ¹² O God, don’t stay away. My God, please hurry to help me.

SAY SO!

¹⁴ But I will keep on hoping for your help; I will praise you more and more. ¹⁵ I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, though I am not skilled with words. ¹⁶ I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign Lord. I will tell everyone that you alone are just. In the midst of challenging circumstances we can choose to trust in God’s Help and be people of Hope. Are you going to give up or will you live out your faith in a radical way by choosing to Thank God privately and to publicly pronounce His faithfulness and goodness in your life? Do you think others are watching as you go through tough times? What words do they hear from you?

SONS (and DAUGHTERS too)

¹⁸ Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me. If you have been blessed with years, then what shall you do with your status today in a world that worships youth? Be a wise woman or a mentoring man. Don’t focus on what you have lost, but make every opportunity to declare what God has done in your long life! The greatest gift we can ever give a younger generation (and certainly our own sons and daughters) is to recount God’s faithfulness and provision in the hard times of our lives. This is a testimony they cannot ignore. What story of seeing God’s miraculous hand at work will you tell a new generation today?

SUFFERING

²⁰ You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. ²¹ You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. I know that there has been suffering in your life, and you might even be going through some right now. But do you believe that God can truly Restore and Lift and Comfort you? This is a biblical promise from Psalm 71 and I hope each of us can pray these verses today, knowing that He is able to meet us in our deepest place, and not leave us there.

SHOUT

²³ I will shout for joy and sing your praises, for you have ransomed me. ²⁴ I will tell about your righteous deeds all day long, for everyone who tried to hurt me has been shamed and humiliated. And this is how the psalm ends – with shouting! And singing for joy at what God has done in our lives! We may not live to see our ‘enemies’ thwarted, but each of us who has read the whole Bible knows the ending — God Wins! So why not tell about God’s righteous deeds ‘all day long’? Sure, you can do it in subtle ways at work, or you can seek to comfort others with the comfort you received by sharing a prayer or verse that helped you. There are many ways to shout and sing with both sensitivity and substance. Just remember, we only have this one day to glorify God. Will we be like the anonymous psalmist here and leave a legacy of PRAISE?

And now, a hymn to close: “O God, our Help in ages past, Our Hope for years to come, Our Shelter from the stormy blast, And our eternal Home. Under the shadow of Thy throne, Still may we dwell secure; Sufficient is Thine arm alone, And our defense is sure.” (Isaac Watts)

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY – Click Here to visit my St. Patrick’s Day Blog

 

 

under the mercy, Cindy

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

LOOKING FOR LOVE…

“Encouraging Words Today”   February 14, 2012

LOOKING FOR LOVE…

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

I always wanted someone who would love me. Unconditionally. And now, guess what? Someone does!

Jesus, the Lover of my Soul. Because God in the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) is Love, then He cannot deny His very nature. I sometimes feel like shouting (not unlike Sally Field’s at the Academy Awards) “You LOVE me! You really LOVE me!”

Jesus is the revelation of God’s unending, unconditional love for us: “Everything that Jesus has done, said, and undergone is meant to show us that the love we most long for is given to us by God — not because we’ve deserved it, but because God is a God of love … Jesus is God’s most radical attempt to convince us that everything we long for is indeed given us. What God asks of us is to have faith in that love. When Jesus talks about faith, he means first of all to trust unreservedly that you are loved by God.”  (Henri Nouwen)

February is Love Month. Yes, I know there is lots of hype and commercialism surrounding roses and romance and Valentine’s cards. But we can get handle that, can’t we? Either embrace it with a healthy balance or ignore it altogether. I know that when I was ‘still single’ in my thirties I memorized Psalm 73.25-26 and repeated it nonstop every day in February to remind myself that even if I didn’t have a ‘valentine’ I did have Someone who truly loved me…

“Whom have I in heaven but You?
And earth has nothing I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.” 

In my book “God’s Purpose for You” I talk about how important it is to know that God loves us unconditionally. And I included this wonderful Love Letter from God based entirely on biblical promises which I hope you will read today as though it was written Just For You!

Dear ____________________________,

          Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of His daughter, I carried the image of you in My eyes, for you were created in My image. Before the beginning of time, I chose you. I spoke your name into the heavens and I smiled as its melody resounded off the walls of My heart.

          You are Mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than any ocean. You are My pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of My hand. I love you even in the face of your failure. Nothing you can say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am ruthless in My pursuit of you. Run from Me — I will love you. Spurn Me — I will love you. Reject yourself — I will love you. You see, My love for you was slain before the foundations of the world and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at Calvary.

          When I see every part of who You are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence. You are beautiful, and I take pleasure in you — heart, mind, and body. You are my desire. When you turn your head in shame and despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. You are My beloved and I am yours.

                                                        Love,  Your Heavenly Father

(based on I John 3:2, Isaiah 43:1, Matthew 13:46, Ephesians 1:4, Revelation 13:8 and other scripture) from Regina Franklin, Who Calls Me Beautiful? (Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 2004), pp.44-45.

This Valentine’s Day I am also rejoicing with both of my daughters who were recently engaged to be married. Imagine two brides in one year! Truly my cup runneth over with joy and celebration and only the occasional panic attack at all that needs to happen between ‘now’ and ‘then’… Surely God answered my prayers through the years for just the right man to love each of these unique and gifted young women and partner with them through life’s journey. Just as he answered my prayers for the love of my own life for the past 28 years – Mike McDowell!

So today, if you have earthly love, thank God for that amazing gift. But even if you don’t have that ‘special someone’ right now, know deep in your heart that you are loved and cherished by the Creator and Sustainer of the whole universe. Truly He is the Lover of our Souls.

under the mercy, Cindy  

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS YEAR?

Encouraging Words for Today ~ December 31, 2011

WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS YEAR?

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

What do you most need as the new year begins?

More TIME? More money? Better HEALTH? A job? A spouse? To lose 20 pounds? To lose 120 pounds? Reconciliation with a loved one? Freedom from an addiction? More PATIENCE? A new Book Contract? Freedom from fear? More purpose and passion for living? A baby?

A miracle?

I ask you this question because it is what I ask myself as the New Year approaches and we all face an unknown future. I have prayed for a promise from God to cling to in 2012 and can find no better words than Peter’s own proclamation:

“God’s divine power has given us everything we need for life & godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” II Peter 1.3

If I am to believe God’s Word, then I can face 2012 knowing that God will provide ‘everything I need’ for the unique story He has called me to live. But only if I appropriate ‘His divine power’ and deepen my own ‘knowledge of Him’. The next question then becomes, ‘am I willing to do that?’

           Yes, I am willing to step out in faith and embrace ALL that God calls me to in the coming year, trusting His divine power, grace, and mercy. Back in the dismal time of The Great War (WWI), a man named Hugh Kerr wrote a hymn that I’d like to sing to you as a prayer today:

God of our life, through all the circling years, we trust in You;

In all the past, through all our hopes and fears, Your hand we view.

With each new day, when morning lifts the veil,

we own Your mercies, Lord, which never fail.

God of the coming years, thro’ paths unknown, we follow You;

When we are strong, Lord, leave us not alone; our faith renew.

Be now for us in life our daily bread,

our heart’s true home when all our years have sped.

~Hugh T. Kerr 1916

            May I suggest a helpful exercise as the year begins – a blank page, a fresh start? Write down a list of what you most NEED during 2012. Then, make this your “Impossible Prayer List”, always remembering that though our needs often seem impossible to meet, ‘nothing is impossible with God’ as the angel Gabriel told Mary. Also, try to keep a “Gratitude Journal” all year, DAILY writing down ONE THING you are thankful for that day…you will soon find you cannot write only one thing. Your life will change… Lastly, I’m going to take a cue from Frank Laubach’s words in 1930 about being more open to others and their needs.

“To be able to look backward and say, ‘This, this has been the finest year of my life’ — that is glorious! But anticipation! To be able to look ahead and say, ‘The present year can and shall be better!’ — that is more glorious! I have done nothing but open windows — God has done the rest. There has been a succession of marvelous experiences of the friendship of God. I resolved that I would succeed better this year with my experiment of filling every minute full of the thought of God than I succeeded last year. And I added another resolve — to be as wide open toward people and their need as I am toward God. Windows open especially downward where people need the most!”

~ Frank Laubach in “Letters By A Modern Mystic” 1930

 Yes, this can be a grand year of both God providing everything we need and also using us to help meet others’ needs.

And all we have to do is…. put one foot in front of the other. Go forth. LIVE FULLY!  It’s 2012. Happy New Year. May yours be one of Grace, Peace, and Mercy.

                                                            Cindy

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net  

WHEN CHRISTMAS IS HARD…

“Encouraging Words for Today” December 22, 2011

WHEN CHRISTMAS IS HARD…

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

It’s virtually impossible to apply eye makeup while your eyes are constantly ‘leaking.’ This Sunday I was preparing for church and couldn’t stop weeping, just a feeling of loss — my first Christmas ever without Daddy. But I had to ‘get it all together’ because not only did we have a houseguest, but I was giving the Morning Prayer in the service. And so I did. Still, all around me were people in pain — many of their stories I know (the woman behind me lost her mother one day recently and her husband the next day) but many I don’t know (a young woman across the meetinghouse kept dabbing her eyes during every Christmas carol.) Reading Christmas letters from friends and family far and wide, I am once again reminded of the tremendous brokeness and pain and despair in the world today.

That’s why it’s so AMAZING that GOD CAME! “The Word became flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood…” (John 1.14 MSG) This Christ child was also “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…” (Isaiah 53) He knows what our lives are like. And that’s why He came, to sit with us in our sorrow, to guide us in our bewilderment, and to give us hope to take the next step.  Emmanuel — God with us — is the great good news for all who weep today. And that’s why we truly can rejoice at Christmastime.

Nevertheless, for those to whom the holidays are hard, it’s important to adjust your expectations for celebration this year. I have had to do that — knowing my limits — perhaps you do too. I hope this practical advice will help you as it has helped me during this season:

1. Talk about your feelings! It’s okay to be sad, even when others are not. Opening up with safe and supportive family and friends can be a great way to cope. Also talking with your pastor, a counselor or attending a grief support group can be especially helpful.

2. Make a plan to honor your loved one. There are many ways to do this- anything from watching their favorite Christmas movie, to lighting a candle at the dinner table, to hanging a special ornament on the tree can all help you feel connected to that person. Don’t be afraid to say their name, to reflect on happy holiday memories spent with that person or look at old photos. While those things may often bring tears, they can also bring comfort.

3. Give yourself permission to change your usual traditions. It’s ok to not go out in crowds if that feels overwhelming. It’s ok to skip putting out all the decorations you normally would. It’s ok to cook less. During times of grief, it’s most important to take good care of yourself. Over-scheduling and pressure are especially hard to handle, so eliminate everything that is draining, and make time for comforting and resting.

4. Do spend time with loved ones. While over-scheduling is not good, isolating can lead to depression. Many grieving individuals find it helpful to create a support team of two to three people who call and visit, and whom you can call anytime you need to talk. Often friends and family don’t know how to help when someone is grieving. There are probably several people in your life who have said “If you need anything, let me know.” Ask them to be a support person. Ask them to call you every few days and tell them you might need to call them just to cry or talk.

5. Make sure you are eating and sleeping. We often have trouble with sleep and appetite during times of grief. Melatonin is a supplement used for sleep that can be helpful. Eating several small meals can help if you simply don’t feel hungry. If needed, talk to your doctor about some medication for sleep.

6. Spend time in prayer, reading your Bible and worship. Remember that God cares for you! It’s ok to feel angry with God during grief, but don’t allow that feeling to keep you from Him. God can offer comfort that no other person can. He experienced the loss of His own son Jesus and can empathize with your pain. The Bible says, “God is close to the broken-hearted…” (Psalm 34:18). It also says that “He heals the broken hearted…” (Psalm 147:3)

Remember that there is no way to remove the pain of grief. There is a path to move through the pain however. It is a season that will one day pass as you continue to take good care of yourself and receive comfort from others and God. “Weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing will come in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)

~ from Debi Russell, BA  Pastoral Counselor at Branches Recovery Center, Tennessee

Christmas Dinner 1970

I miss my Daddy and I wish I could spend Christmas with my Mama who is far away in Georgia, but I also have great comfort and joy in knowing that this year all four of my scattered young adult children will gather with me and their daddy in a cozy home to celebrate the Christ child who not only came to us, but abides with us still…  I plan to bask in all that LOVE this Christmas weekend and beyond… This is my prayer for you as well.

Jeremiah 31:13, “…I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” (NIV)

“Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus,that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and worship of the wise men. Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts. May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus’ sake. AMEN.” (Robert Louis Stephenson)

Christmas Blessings! Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

EMBRACE THE HOLIDAYS!

“Encouraging Words for Today” December 1, 2011

EMBRACE THE HOLIDAYS!

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

December is here and everyone is already stressed! How can we embrace the ‘love and joy come to you’, the ‘all is calm, all is bright,’ and ‘rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing…’? Honestly, it’s a struggle — here we are in a season of waiting for the Prince of Peace and yet all too often there is no peace within our hearts.

I blame it on all the Holiday Expectations put upon us by others – our culture, our loved ones, and especially ourselves. We want this year to be the Best Christmas Ever for everyone and so we strive to help make it so, even if it means we leave our hearts behind in the process.

This year can be different! During this Advent Season (Nov. 27-Dec. 24) and the 12 Days of Christmas (Dec. 24 thru Epiphany Jan. 6) we can be intentional about embracing Light, and Hope, and Joy, and Peace, and yes, even ‘goodwill to all men.’ I don’t want to turn around on New Year’s Day 2012 and look back with regret on how I did or did not spend my precious holiday season. Three words will help me on this journey:

FOCUS

I need to decide where my FOCUS will be. It’s been a hard year for many of us and frankly, it would be easy to whine about struggles or get depressed at losses. Instead, I face my limitations and decide on boundaries – physically, socially, financially, and relationally. This first year in our new little home, we will have all four children here from far and wide. I want to welcome them to a home of acceptance, peace, encouragement and joy. My main priority is to keep myself in a place where that will happen. In the days leading up to Christmas I will spend time singing many carols (both aloud and in my heart) and focusing on Christ’s coming through scripture and prayer. I will say ‘Yes’ to some things (hosting the daughter of a west coast friend who just moved to Boston; speaking at 3 Christmas outreach events, breakfast with my prayer partners, Advent communion each Wednesday…) and say ’No’ to others (can’t do neighborhood open house, simplified gift giving, shorter Christmas card list…). And I will continue to write down my Gratitude and Thanks to God every day!

FUN

But I will have FUN in the process! Yes, we will watch “Elf” at least once. We will gather around the fire and play games (Scattergories, Charades, etc.) and we will tell stories and laugh at each other and ourselves. Christmas should be a time of joy and merriment. I will take time to make every moment festive for celebration. I use Mama’s Christmas china every single meal every single day from Nov. 27-Jan. 6 as a statement that this is indeed a special time. We light candles and play Christmas music: Messiah (of course) but also Elvis, and Emmy Lou Harris, and Dolly Parton and Josh Groban. And, of course, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby, especially in homage to my Daddy. So, smile a lot and wish every single harried store clerk and Merry Christmas as you are patient with them.

FAITH

Most of all, I shall endeavor to live out my FAITH in practice and not just words. The best part of the holidays (holy days) are that they remind us of the lifechanging Good News that God sent His Son to us. “The Word became flesh and blood,  and moved into the neighborhood.  We saw the glory with our own eyes,  the one-of-a-kind glory,  like Father, like Son,  Generous inside and out,  true from start to  finish.”  (John 1.14 The Message) God didn’t just see us struggling down here on earth, shout down from heaven, “Hey, I love ya, so buck up!” No, He actually ‘moved into the neighborhood’ through Jesus Christ, Immanuel (that word means, after all, ‘God with us.’) That means we are never alone. Even when we feel alone during the holidays because there is an empty place at the table and an empty place in our hearts. Even when we feel alone as we start a new year, not knowing what it will hold for us. We are not alone. God came. And because He did, we can ‘be present’ for others, especially during this season when so many are hurting, needy, and seeking hope to keep going.

Giving and serving as a family is a great way to live out faith. But also, each of us individually, can be a Present to others when we offer gifts of Grace, Mercy and Time. Don’t feel you need to change your loved ones (especially during fractured family gatherings), just love up on ‘em as Immanuel loves up on you. And, oh yeah, in case I forgot to say it, Sing Carols, Do Advent Devotions daily, Go to Church, Play Christmas Music all the time, Light Candles, Serve a Birthday cake, Watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Fill Stockings, Pray for Peace….

ADVENT PRAYER

“Lord Jesus, Master of both the light & darkness, send Your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do, seek quiet spaces to hear Your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things, look forward to Your coming among us. We who are blessedin so many ways, long for the complete joy of Your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy, seek the joy of Your presence. We are Your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the Light. To You we say, ‘Come Lord Jesus!’ AMEN.”  ~ Henri Nouwen

And now, for my 4 minutes of fame on TV this week!!!

My Interview on ABC’s “Good Morning Connecticut Weekend” – Sunday, November 20, 2011

from “McDowell Family Interview 2011″ YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROL LINE?

Mike – “And our eyes at last shall see Him, through His own redeeming love.”

Cindy “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight…”

Justin – “He rules the world with truth and grace!”

Tim – “Christ by highest heaven adored, Christ the everlasting Lord!”

Fiona – “Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace.”

Maggie – “A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!”

All – “Fa la la la la, la la la la!” 

Love and Joy come to you, And to you a Merry Christmas too, May God bless you and send you a Happy New Year…. under the mercy, Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell www.EncouragingWords.net

70 REASONS TO THANK GOD

“Encouraging Words for Today” November 14, 2011

70 REASONS TO THANK GOD

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever!” (Psalm 118) How can we be thankful after experiencing a drastic reduction in income… or status… or health… or relationships? Sadly, this is Reality at Thanksgiving 2011 for so many people. Truth is, I’ve also experienced this kind of Reality. Yet here I am, still giving Thanks. And I believe we can all do this if we embrace two things:

1. Remember that GOD is the One we thank.

God is the One we thank because He is over all and in all and chooses to share that ‘all’ with us lavishly. Knowing that we are created, loved and sustained by a merciful and gracious God is the ultimate reason for giving thanks. My friend, Steve Brown, says that despite circumstances it can always be a good Thanksgiving:

“It is a good Thanksgiving because we have Someone to thank Who loves us, Who shows Himself to us in the dark and Who is in control of the mess. Some of us will have more ‘stuff’ than others. Some will be going through some rough waters and some will be sailing through the calm between the storms. Some will be facing emotional or physical pain, loss of a loved one or the prospect of great failure, while others will be sitting on top of the world. Those aren’t even the issues though. The issue is GOD. Run to Him. Thanksgiving will be natural.”

2. Make a CHOICE to live in Gratitude, no matter what.

So, we can either complain and whine about the direction life has taken us — the detour in the road, the closed door, the seemingly impossible challenge — or we can believe that nothing is too hard for God-with-us (btw, that is Emmanuel, one of the names of Jesus, but we will get to that later during Advent…) Maybe your situation is darker this year than last, but if you know God as the Great Provider, you can choose to say with Habakkuk:

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails  and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength…” (Habakkuk 3.17-19)

I’m grateful for parents who taught me early on that Thanksgiving is actually a way of life. Recently I discovered a small piece of paper with a long list written by my 12 year old self… my ‘ticket’ to Thanksgiving dinner… (thanks to sister Susan for ‘rescuing’ this from the family archives…)

My Thankful List 1965

(misspellings are original, italics are updated notes)

Food: Turkey, Ice Cream, Spagetti

Shelter: Brookside (our farm in the country), Pinecrest (our house in town), Treehouse (mine!)

Family: Mama, Daddy, Susan, Cathy

Pets: Friskey, Rusty, Animals

School: Education, Teachers, Materials

Clothes: Slacks, Skirts, Dresses, Shoes (old), Jeans

House: Kitchen, My Room,

Govement: Free Country, Leaders, Democracy, President (even though he is Mr. Johnson), White House, Capital, Heroes, Republicans

Senses: Hearing, Seeing, Tasting, Feeling, Smelling

Workers: Fireman, Doctors, Nurses, Pulpwood Dealers (this is what my daddy did at the time), City Workers, Farmers, Radiomen

Transportation: Bycicle, Automobiles, Airplane, Train, Jet, Rockets

Christen Life: Church, Music, Preacher, Deacons, Elders, Missionaries

Movie Stars: Hayley Mills, Kevin Corcoran, Doris Day, Peter McEnery

Machines: Television, Radio, Intercom

Keystone Camp!

Nature: Birds, Trees, Plants, Animals, Music, Smell, Wonders

And that is just a little bit of what I’m thankful for. Cindy Secrest, Thanksgiving 1965

If I could just sit down and write out 70 things on my thankful list (in categories, no less) back when I had only lived a dozen years, then surely today I can list at least 770! I think if I start now, I’ll have enough for a ‘ticket’ to Thanksgiving dinner… Want to join me?

under the mercy, Cindy

copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

FOR THOSE WHO SERVE…

“Encouraging Words for Today” – November 9, 2011

FOR THOSE WHO SERVE…

By Lucinda Secrest McDowell

So, I’m crying while watching “60 Minutes” this week as a very young soldier weeps about his experiencees in Iraq. Wondering if he will ever be able to get on with his life and heal from the battlescars… I can’t help but think of so many other young soldiers through the years who have put their lives on the line… for us! On Veteran’s Day we remember and thank all those who serve our country.

Pratt Secrest - U.S. Air Force

Of course I’m remembering my favorite Veteran and the one I miss most right now – Daddy. November 12th would have been his 87th birthday, but this one he’s celebrating in Heaven… My father, Pratt Secrest, was one of the Greatest Generation who served during both World War II (Air Force pilot) and the Korean War (Information officer/journalist). Can you even imagine training to be a bomber pilot at age eighteen? What responsibility at such a young age… When Daddy turned twenty he wrote down some of his thoughts after a war-torn year, in his poem “Outlook”

Sometimes I look at life through the span

Of twenty years without a caravan

Of thoughts to bring a sweet and low refrain,

A song to penetrate endless rain.

In spite of hopes to think of things I love,

I find that memory honors only tears.

In vain I lift my eyes to look above

The strife and death of conflict-shattered years.

Oh, men of earth! You know that war’s release

Is only through the God of Lasting Peace!

- Pratt Secrest, 1944

Cindy with Lt. Col. Tony Monetti & Penny Monetti

This past summer I had the privilege of meeting Tony & Penny Monetti who are committed to helping other military families. Here’s how Tony addressed the question so many people ask in our day and age: “Why do American servicemen and women voluntarily serve in the military? What gives us the courage to potentially lay down our lives for our nation? After 23 years of service with our joint force, I know why. We serve because we believe that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. We sacrifice because we share an ideal of service over self and an unshakeable belief in America and her values. America stands for freedom, providing opportunities for people to live their dreams… Our country’s founding fathers risked their lives for this ideal and serve as an example to us. In our country’s history, many have died to protect this ideal… If there is one thing I know after serving with American soldiers, airmen, and marines, it is that our character of service over self binds us together… We must continue holding the torch of freedom, for we are America’s hope for a better tomorrow.” (Tony & Penny Monetti in “Called to Serve”)

Daddy was one of those ‘called to serve’, and even as a young airman, Pratt Secrest, chose to use humor to get through tough times…  Here is his take on First Aid training during flight school in his poem “First Aid”

"I only want to fly!"

I’ve studied blood and bleeding, and cuts from ear to ear,

And what to put on punctures when the doctor isn’t here.

With digital compression I’m supposed to be a whiz,

But actually, my technique’s wrong, I’m really just a ‘fizz.’

And if the victim has a bone that’s broken, torn or bent,

I proudly put a bandage on (resembling a tent).

The teacher made me volunteer to be a case of rabies.

(If this continues, soon I’ll be delivering little babies!)

So give me no more bruises, burns, incisions, lacerations.

If anybody mentiones blood, I’ll change the conversation.

You keep your dern old First Aid stuff, I only want to fly!

And if I ever get a wound.. So help me, I’ll just die.

- Pratt Secrest, Flight School 1943 (age 19)

Let’s all take time today and this week to Pray for all those men and women who have served and continue to serve our country. Here is a prayer I use for such times…

under the mercy, Cindy

“O Prince of Peace, we humbly ask Your protection for all our men and women in military service. Give them unflinching courage to defend with honor, dignity and devotion the rights of all who are imperiled by injustice and evil. Guard our churches, our homes, our schools, our hospitals, our factories, our buildings, and all those within from harm and peril. Protect our land and its people from enemies within and without. Grant an early peace with victory founded upon justice. Instill in the hearts and minds of me and women everywhere a firm purpose to live forever in peace and good will towards all. Amen.”

 copyright 2011 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net