WHEN ALL YOU CAN SAY IS…THANK YOU

  When All You Can Say Is…Thank You

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell  

It seems to happen in the blink of an eye. One day you’re young and out to change the world, and the next day you turn around and six decades have flown by while you were simply living ‘one day at a time!’

Don’t scoff, my friend. If you haven’t yet experienced this phenomenon, your day will come (barring the undesirable alternative, of course). And when it does, you may find yourself — as indeed I have — in deep contemplation “How have I spent this one wild and beautiful life?”

“For Your mercy and Your grace, Constant through another year, Hear our song of thankfulness, Father and Redeemer, hear! Keep us faithful, keep us pure, Keep us evermore Your own; Help, O help us to endure; Fit us for the promised crown.” (hymn by Henry Downton 1818-1885)

Today is my 60th birthday. Okay, there. I said it. Out loud. To all the world. And now I only have one more thing to say. Really. The only thing I can say is…… Thank You.

• Thank You, GOD, for the gift of Life and Health — and Your Grace and Mercy which allow me to go forth each day seeking to make a difference….
• Thank You, MAMA & DADDY, for making sure I was deeply loved, fully provided for and graciously launched into life with a Bible/Newspaper in one hand and a Map/Etiquette book in the other….
• Thank You, FAMILY. You might not have chosen me as kinfolk, but you have certainly stuck by me all these years and shown up at the most crucial times with casseroles, music, gifts and all kinds of advice…
• Thank You, MIKE, for choosing me and loving me sacrificially for 30 years. Wow. No words. You are the Love of my life always….
• Thank You, FRIENDS, who had the courage to sometimes say the hard things when I needed to hear them, but who always remind me in countless ways that I am never alone….
• Thank You, COLLEAGUES in writing, speaking, teaching and ministry, because you indeed “know-what-my-life-is-like” as you push me towards excellence and integrity in responding to my calling….
• Thank You READERS & LISTENERS of my many attempts at creatively communicating “encouraging words” that impart Life and Purpose and Power. As long as the doors keep opening, I’ll keep walking through — pen and microphone in hand….
• Thank You, JUSTIN, TIM, FIONA and MAGGIE for allowing me the ultimate privilege of figuring out this whole motherhood thing as we grew up together. May you never forget these simple yet profound truths: “Life is hard. God is good. All the time.” You indeed are my deepest Joy, my greatest Lifework….

The year I turned twenty-five I was living near Boston as a seminary student and lodger/typist for author Elisabeth Elliot, now 85 years old. These birthday thoughts by her were meaningful then, and are still spot on, I believe:

“What I want to wish you today is joy. I want you to have the happiest birthday ever. Not because you’re just exactly the age you’ve always dreamed of being: the perfect age. Not because you’ll be having the splashiest, roaringest party ever, or because you’re surrounded by all your favorite fans, feeling marvelous, getting a vast pile of gorgeous gifts. I could merely wish you a happy birthday, but I’ll do more than that. I’ll turn my wish into prayer, and ask the Lord to give you the happiest birthday ever. I’ll ask him for the kind of joy that isn’t dependent on how you feel or who’s there to celebrate or what’s happening.

The bad news is that another year has gone by and we haven’t done all we meant to do and it’s not going to come back to give us another chance. The good news is the Gospel. We can be reconciled to God–sins forgiven, fears taken care of. I pray for you on your birthday, that your path, as is promised to the just man, will shine not less and less but more and more; that you will still bring forth fruit in old age; that the Lord will give you a thankful heart.

So — Happy Birthday! If you have friends and parties and presents, be thankful for such bonuses. If you have no friends with you today, no party, not a package to open, you still have a long list of things to thank God for, things that matter much more. A birthday filled with thanksgiving and hope is the happiest kind of birthday. Have one of those! Deck yourself with joy!” ~ Elisabeth Elliot

So today, May 23, 2013, my heart is full. My life is full. (and my stomach is probably pretty full too by the time you read this and I’ve indulged in some celebration treats). Birthdays have a way of bringing life into perspective, don’t they? No, my life did not turn out the way I always imagined it would (we all have so many more challenges and struggles than the world will ever see, don’t we?), but it did turn out exactly the way God planned and allowed. He is sovereign. He holds all my days in the palm of His hand. And He will be the One to lead me into the future as I fully embrace each new day, hoping there will be many more occasions to ‘prove the promises of God.’

I taught my children that when they receive a gift, the only response is to say “Thank you.” I have received the Gift of sixty years… and all I can say is “Thank You.”

under the mercy, Cindy

“I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken.” Psalm 37.25

©2013 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

Opening the Gift!

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

     Every single day of my life I thank God for His GRACE to me.

Every day.

What is that grace that literally “changed a wretch like me”? (thank you, John Newton for writing the hymn “Amazing Grace”) My own definition (from my 1996 book Amazed by Grace) is: “Grace is God giving us what we don’t deserve and can never earn; mercy is God not giving us what we do deserve.”  

Hardly profound.  Definitely life-changing.

But grace can only change a life if the gift is received when the gift is offered. According to Ephesians 2.8-9 “by grace you are saved through faith, this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift – not from works, so that no one can boast.”  If you are a follower of Christ you have been given the free (not earned) gift of grace. The question is, “Did you open that gift? Did you appropriate it in your life?” Or are you like I was for so many years, just carrying around the gift in a beautiful package but never quite embracing all it could mean for me personally? I did, eventually, though.

God’s vertical grace reached deep down into the pit of my own making and pulled me out and reminded me that striving and trying to be ‘good enough’ to earn His favor was simply not the definition of “receiving a gift.” And that, in turn, helped me totally change the way I view life and others – seeking to offer horizontal grace to those I encounter. “Grace is something you can never get but only be given. The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It’s for you. I created the universe. I love you. There’s only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.” Frederick Buechner in Wishful Thinking

It has been more than 20 years since my “Grace Sabbatical” (an intensive learning time between my Professor/God and me) commenced.  I continue to be ever grateful for both Grace and Mercy extended to me – neither of which I deserve. I simply cannot stop speaking and writing on the transformational and redemptive character of God’s grace! And I am ever indebted to so many people along the way who have been formative on my journey —  some of them in very personal ways, some of them in ways they will never know because we haven’t actually met. But isn’t that God’s economy — using our words and our stories to touch lives of people we may never know this side of heaven?

Back in the early 1990′s I happen to be at the bookstore at Mt. Hermon Conference Center in California and as I walked the aisles, a brand new book literally fell off the shelf and into my hands. It was called The Ragamuffin Gospel and it was by an author I had never heard of – Brennan Manning. I was a pretty poor clergy wife and mother of 4 young kids at the time, but one look at the subtitle “good news for the bedraggled, beat-up and burnt-out” and I knew I had to buy it. Reading that book changed my life.

Brennan Manning, who called himself “Abba’s Ragamuffin,” died this weekend and I mourned and remembered him. He was, like me, a sinner saved by grace. In fact, his final book was an autobiography entitled All Is Grace.                   “My life is a witness to vulgar grace—a grace that amazes as it offends. A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wage as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five. A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party, no ifs, ands, or buts. A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief’s request—’Please, remember me’—and assures him, ‘You bet!’…This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. It works without asking anything of us. It’s not cheap. It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility. Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try and find something or someone that it cannot cover. Grace is enough…”—Brennan Manning (1934-2013)

Do you believe that Grace is enough? Enough to help you face that ‘impossible’ thing in your life? Enough to help you change – to make a 180° turn from going your own way to going God’s way? Is grace enough to give you hope and courage when everything else seems to bring despair and discouragement? Is grace that you received enough to turn you into someone who extends mercy all ‘round?

I look at my life today. Just doing it seems impossible. I am overwhelmed with lists. I am way behind in writing deadlines. I am underfinanced in what I need to cover. But I am simultaneously overcome with Gratitude for joys that abound. For gifts that keep coming to my door (not boxes, folks, the other kind of Gifts…)

I am grateful for my brilliant and beautiful daughter who was a true gift to me when she was three years old and I became her mama.  And she is now, this very week, a Bride (like I was, in my early thirties) on the cusp of a whole new life. I am utterly grateful for my loving and faithful husband still by my side and still supporting my feeble attempts to live a grace-filled adventure, beginning in our home… For six amazing children (2 are new sons-in-law) who appear to still love me unconditionally, though I suspect they probably tell stories about me to their siblings behind my back. For friends and family who will descend upon our little village (130 out of towners from 22 states and 9 overseas) for the wedding weekend as they offer up blessing and legacy and many, many practical helps for us all.

I have tears in my eyes as I type this because I know I won’t “do this” wedding time perfectly, just as I didn’t “do” our other daughter’s wedding perfectly a few months ago. But I also have tears in my eyes because I know I will seek to do it with Grace and that God’s grace will cover my inadequacies, my stumbles and my mistakes. I, too, am such a ragamuffin. But I am a ragamuffin who is Greatly Loved by God.

Amazing.

under the mercy, Cindy

©2013 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

What I Know For Sure

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

Today begins a new year. Who knows what appointments and events will fill the pages of my calendar? Who knows what joys and sorrows will fill the memories of my heart and mind? Who knows what concerns will cause me to fear, to cry, to tremble? Who knows what new opportunities will cause me to research and create and thrive? Who knows what undeserved great blessings will mercifully come my way?

Only God knows. 

2013 is as yet unknown to me. That can be exciting. That can also be a bit scary.  What IS known is the character of God. He never changes. Just as He was faithful in the past, He has accompanied me into this New Year and will never leave my side — whatever comes my way.

I understand concerns about an unknown 2013…. People are worried about falling off cliffs, high unemployment, financial devastation, a world at war, violence to innocent children, health scares, and moral decay… I’ve decided instead to focus on what is KNOWN rather than what is unknown. So, here is What I Know For Sure (yes, I know Oprah has a monthly column called “What I Know For Sure” but honey, she does not have a corner on sure knowledge…):

1.    I am deeply loved. You are too.

This is where I hang my ultimate identity – I am “God’s Beloved”. If that sounds a bit presumptuous, so be it. In the Bible (which I believe) God says “I have loved with you with an everlasting love; I have gathered you with lovingkindness.” (Jeremiah 31.3) That’s good enough for me. So, you can take any titles or status or other identity-marker away and this is what I’ll be – simply and purely God’s Beloved.

2.    There is evil in the world.

Do not be naïve – there is (and has always been) an ‘enemy of your soul’ who will do anything to destroy your life and keep you from being the person God created you to be. His wiles are many – but they usually start with whispers, doubts, distractions and making us believe lies… When people give in to this enemy, they do horrific things which destroy their lives and others lives. (We in Connecticut having been living such a nightmare these past days.) We are at war in the spiritual realm so join me in being a Warrior Princess every single day as we fight for truth.

3.    The only way to grow in faith is to spend time with God.

A lot of people want to be spiritual. In fact, I’ll bet a lot of people have some sort of spiritual New Year’s resolution today. But the truth is, most people don’t want it enough to do what it takes to be godly, wise, and yes, holy. We cannot know God and live the life He calls us to by simply having a WEEKLY spiritual rhythm (church service, a Bible Study, etc.). We must spend time with Him in prayer, meditation/study of His Word, and worship through a DAILY spiritual rhythm. This is not ‘new news’ – it is the ancient practice of spiritual disciplines. And there truly is no other way. Trust me.

4.    God loves my children even more than I love them.

I spend a lot of time and thought and prayer over my (now) six young adult children. They are not living in my nest because they are all out discovering how to live their unique lives and fulfill their callings. They are scattered far and wide and are each great adventurers. Sometimes I ache and cry and want to ‘fix’ life for them, but I can’t (nor should I, for I would definitely get it wrong…) Sometimes I worry and want to protect them but I must continually remind myself that even though I love them enough to be willing to die for them, God loves them even more than me and He is a perfect parent. And through His own Son, he did that very thing.

5.    We are not alone.

It’s so hard to feel all alone in a crowd. And it’s also hard to feel alone whilst, well,  alone. No one understands. No one knows. No one can help carry this particular ‘load.’ But the truth, as Christ told us upon leaving earth, is “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28.20)We are not alone after all. He is only a prayer away. It often helps for me to envision Him sitting in the passenger seat of my car, or on the empty chair across from my sofa. I find His “presence” my greatest present most days…

6.    Being grateful is much better than whining and complaining.

Okay. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Stop complaining and whining and dwelling on all the negative stuff. Instead, try to identify at least one thing you can Thank God for every single day. If you write it in a small little datebook, just think, you can finish 2013 with a long list of blessings to ponder and remember, especially when times are tough. By the way, this WILL change you/me.

7.    Prayer is powerful.

True prayer is made up of a whole lot more than a list of things to ask God for… I try to use the acronym TRIP to remind me to include Thanks (praise), Repentance (confession and asking forgiveness) Intercession (praying for others) and Petition (praying for me). The most important thing about prayer is to DO IT. But I find that making lists and consulting the Psalms (God’s prayerbook) as well as ancient prayers help me focus each morning and beyond. I have discovered there is nothing — nothing — that can refresh, revive and support me daily as does praying the hours, even  if it’s only the morning and evening office.  Praying is powerful because it changes the pray-er. And in 2012 I saw ‘mountains move’. So I shall keep praying in 2013…

8.    We are guided through both opened and closed doors.

I love open doors and fresh beginnings and when someone says “Yes” to a request. A new book contract, an invitation to speak, a job offer, a budding relationship… But the truth is, in my own life God has also used closed doors (sometimes slammed in my face) to guide me to where He wants me. And I have almost always come to be grateful for that ‘severe mercy’ of deliverance. So, as 2013 unfolds I want to remember this and hope it takes the sting out of disappointment. He is sovereign. He is in control.

9.    In every season of life, we have something important to offer.

This is a big year for me in that if I make it to late May I will have reached a milestone birthday. Woo Hoo! Certainly beats the alternative… But it also means that with the years I want to also have the wisdom and passion to make each moment count and to do the important things, not just the same-old, same-old. Sometimes I don’t know what I have left to give that will change the world, but I’m determined to wake up each day and take feeble steps forward as a Kingdom Builder  — with encouraging words on my lips and a thankfulness in my heart for the privilege to grow older with grace. I will not coast…!

10.  The only proper response to God’s gift of grace is to receive it and pass it along to others.

When I finally discovered that I didn’t have to strive to earn God’s love, but could rest in His grace because I was the recipient of that amazing gift I did not deserve, it literally changed my life. My only response was to seek to be a grace-giver to others. But that meant letting go of ‘shoulda-coulda-woulda’ living and judgmental attitudes. I haven’t always done this perfectly, but I join our literary friend Jean Valjean (he of Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables”) in knowing that when we have received much, we give much — “to love another person is to see the face of God” (final sung moments in the musical). I know this is true. For a while I lived the other way. Today – this year 2013 – I choose to live in grace.

What I Know For Sure are those things above. Well, at least those are the first ten things that came to mind this snowy afternoon on New Year’s day after I packed up the leftover Hoppin’ John (black eyed peas and organic black japonica rice) that all true southerner’s eat on January 1^st, after all the kids left in planes, trains, and automobiles after coming home to “Sunnyside” during the holidays – my greatest gift. These are the truths that came to me while my amazing husband, Mike, delightedly plays with his new gift – an I Phone – and the house is still.

What do YOU know for sure as 2013 begins? And will it change your life this year?

I’d like to close with a 50 year old prayer from one of my heroes, Billy Graham (I grew up in Montreat NC on the same side of the mountain as the Grahams).

1963 New Year’s Day Prayer by Billy Graham

“Our Father and our God, as we stand at the beginning of this new year we confess our need of Your presence and Your guidance as we face the future. We each have our hopes and expectations for the year that is ahead of us—but You alone know what it holds for us, and only You can give us the strength and the wisdom we will need to meet its challenges. So help us to humbly put our hands into Your hand, and to trust You and to seek Your will for our lives during this coming year. In the midst of life’s uncertainties in the days ahead, assure us of the certainty of Your unchanging love. In the midst of life’s inevitable disappointments and heartaches, help us to turn to You for the stability and comfort we will need. In the midst of life’s temptations and the pull of our stubborn self-will, help us not to lose our way but to have the courage to do what is right in Your sight, regardless of the cost. And in the midst of our daily preoccupations and pursuits, open our eyes to the sorrows and injustices of our hurting world, and help us to respond with compassion and sacrifice to those who are friendless and in need. We pray for our nation and its leaders during these difficult times, and for all those who are seeking to bring peace and justice to our dangerous and troubled world. We pray especially for Your protection on all those who serve in our armed forces, and we thank You for their commitment to defend our freedoms, even at the cost of their own lives. Be with their families also, and assure them of Your love and concern for them. As we look back over this past year we thank You for Your goodness to us—far beyond what we have deserved. May we never presume on Your past goodness or forget all Your mercies to us, but may they instead lead us to repentance, and to a new commitment to make You the foundation and center of our lives this year. And so, our Father, we thank You for the promise and hope of this new year, and we look forward to it with expectancy and faith. This I ask in the name of our Lord and Saviour, who by His death and resurrection has given us hope both for this world and the world to come. Amen.”

under the mercy, Cindy

©2013 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net

CHRISTMAS – DON’T MISS IT!

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

    I missed my 32nd birthday celebration. And if there ever was a year I needed a party that was it.

    In the preceding months I had become a wife for the first time, moved 1000 miles north from San Francisco to Seattle, adopted three children, and was about to celebrate my first wedding anniversary with my husband away in Texas at a ministry meeting!

    May 23rd dawned rainy as usual in my new northwest home as I drove four-year-old Fiona to her playgroup — a wonderful gathering of little girls from our church who played together with two different moms each week.

    This particular week Sharol was the hostess and since someone else was the helper I didn’t even consider going inside with Fiona — I was too busy having a ‘pity party.’

    So I drove to a nearby cafe, and promptly spent those two hours drinking coffee and working myself into a grand depression… No one loved me, no one understood me, and no one knew it was my birthday in this new place, blah blah blah…

    Imagine my astonishment and embarassment when I picked up Fiona and discovered that Sharol and the other moms had put together a lovely brunch to honor me on my first birthday in Seattle! Of course, it was a ‘surprise party’ and by the time little Fiona walked into the house where everyone was waiting, I was already in the car and not to be found (no cell phones in those days, folks).

    I missed it!

    The beauty, the food, the caring, the love, the gifts — they were all there especially for me but I was too caught up in myself and my own neediness to be present at my own birthday party.

    At the end of each year we celebrate the birthday of Jesus Christ. And while Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, some consider it the hardest, most depressing time of the year.

    The expectations of the season are that we be full of joy and festivity with lots of gifts to give and people to remember us in special ways. But for many it has been a hard year, and there are few Christmas cards in the mailbox and no holiday party invitations. The money is tight and the extended family is estranged. How much easier it might be to just crawl off into a corner and host a ‘pity party’ — to say with Scrooge “Bah, Humbug.”

    Don’t do it! Don’t miss this celebration because it’s for YOU. God gave us the ultimate Gift of His Son, Jesus Christ, to show us His great love!

    This is OUR PARTY — we are the recipients of this most treasured Gift. My prayer each Christmas season is that we SHOW UP. That we accept God’s offering to us, that we bask in His beauty and His love for us.

    What are the temptations each holiday season that might cause you to miss the joy and wonder of it all? Why not decide this year exactly what your expectations for Christmas will be. Ask God to help you focus on others and not just your own situation, especially giving you grace for times with extended family. How much time and resources will you spend on family, friends, worship, colleagues, parties, cards, and gifts?

    Will you carve out moments to sit by a fire and listen to Christmas music or read a classic Christmas story? If you plan ahead and know your boundaries, then perhaps this year you will be better prepared to intentionally celebrate the birth of Christ in the ways you find most meaningful and most satisfying. Don’t miss it, friends.

(from my  book A Southern Style Christmas by Lucinda Secrest McDowell)

“Not Celebrate”

Not celebrate?

Your burden is too great to bear?

Your loneliness is intensified during this Christmas season?

Your tears seem to have no end?

Not celebrate?

You should lead the celebration!

You should run through the streets to ring the bells and sing the loudest!

You should fling tinsel on the tree, and open your house to your neighbors, and call them in to dance!

It is unto you that a Savior is born this day,

One who comes to lift your burden from your shoulders,

One who comes to wipe the tears from your eyes.

You are not alone,

for He is born this day to you.

                                                                                                        - by Ann Weems

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family:

Tim, Mike, Cindy, Stephen & Maggie, Justin, Tim K. & Fiona

“The Day of Joy returns, Father in Heaven, and crowns another year with peace and good will. Help us rightly to remember the birth of Jesus, that we may share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and the worship of the wise men. Close the doors of hate and open the doors of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil, by the blessing that Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clean hearts. May the Christmas morning make us happy to be Thy children, and the Christmas evening bring us to our bed with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus’ sake. Amen”                         -Robert Louis Stevenson

Click for 2011 Christmas’ Blog “Embrace The Holidays!”

 

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

http://www.EncouragingWords.net

Harvest — Gathering In and Giving Thanks

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

It is the season of harvest here in our little New England village. It is also the season of hurricanes, fall speaking engagements, elections and family celebration. The Creator’s beautiful warm palette of orange, red and gold is now making way for chilly grey skies, dirty floodwater and debris. Still, it is a time of both gathering in and giving thanks.

Life is usually a mix of great times and hard times, isn’t it? We just celebrated the marriage of our youngest daughter and it was a great time. But we also just lived through Hurricane Sandy’s devastation which continues to be a hard time. This weekend (if the weather/cleanup allows) I will once again speak to a group of people on how to grow deeper in their faith and relationship with God — there have been several  such opportunities all fall and I so enjoy these great times. But next week our extremely divided nation will also face an election whose process has including nasty political ads and confusing issues… how will we as a country ever recover from such hard times?

“Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own nature will harvest decay… But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life… So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” (Galatians 6.8-9 NLT)

Harvest is defined as “the season when ripened crops are gathered” and also “the result or consequence of any act, process, or event.”  This is the time where all that we have invested comes to fruition. This is the season of looking back over the year and remembering our well-intended resolutions that fell by the wayside (seeds sown, but neglected) but also those numerous times when God showed up with His provision or power or presence at just the needed moment!  As I prepare Christmas cards in November, I often think back over the year and remember the work and wonder of each day, each month, each season. And then I usually remark at how quickly the year passed… “how can it be the holidays already?” Trying to distill all I experienced and learned and struggled with brings insight into how I will spend these final weeks — gathering in and giving thanks.

Joyful. Contented. Serene. Mother of the Bride.

What are you gathering in these days? What did you invest in this year — pouring all your heart and soul and probably resources too – so that a result would occur? As an author I love to harvest the arrival of a long-awaited published book that I spent usually more than a year researching and writing.  But instead of writing books this year, as a mother I ‘harvested’ a new little family – and believe me that took a whole lifetime of investment (which I tearfully reviewed as we prepared the rehearsal dinner photovideo).  But that’s just one of many examples of how I spent my year… mostly I’m harvesting the answers to many, many prayers – “yes,” “no,” or “wait.” Paul reminds us that “Each of us did the work the Lord gave us.I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.” (I Corinthians 3:5-7 NLT)

What are you giving thanks for these days? I know that because this is the month of Thanksgiving almost everyone has a word of gratitude on their lips, but actually we should be grateful every single day, no matter the season. Did you decide to record “one thousand gifts” or to do what Mike and I do – identify and record at least one thing each day for which we thank God? If so, reviewing them should be an exercise in joy and grace. If not, why not start today and finish the year with a full heart directed to the Giver of all true gifts? “Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, God and treat Your servants with kindness… Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we’ll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with some good times; we’ve seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let Your servants see what You’re best at— the ways You rule and bless Your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!” (Psalm 90:12-17 MSG)

Just last week I bought a small bowl woven by Haitian women that I’m using as a ‘gratitude reminder’ with my daily prayers. It symbolizes being grateful for whatever comes into our ‘bowl’ each day in the way of works, gifts, people or challenges. This idea came from long ago monks who took a vow of poverty and survived by going out daily with their “begging bowl” — thanking God for whatever was provided, be it much or little. (thanks to my friend Anne Grizzle for sharing this in her book Reminders of God)

I realize that this year your harvest may be lean. Sadly, that’s the reality for so many in our fractured world. If so, I pray you’ll know God’s mercy and compassion in a very real way. But regardless of circumstances, today I am reminded that whether my little ‘begging bowl’ ends the day/year full of the great or empty from the hard, God is still the One who calls me by name to gather it all in and give Him thanks…

“Come, ye thankful people, come, raise the song of harvest home;
All is safely gathered in, ere the winter storms begin.
God our Maker doth provide for our wants to be supplied;
Come to God’s own temple, come, raise the song of harvest home.

(hymn by Henry Alford, 1844)

under the mercy, Cindy

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

http://www.EncouragingWords.net

So, How Was the Wedding?

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

It could not have been a more glorious celebration!

Michelle Gardella Photography

God smiled on this young couple, so full of joy and love. Surrounded by friends and family who care deeply for them. And, as they say, “a good time was had by all….”

My heart was full. My plate was full (both figuratively and literally). I had no time to take pictures (Imagine — how could that comment be from a Secrest!) and I missed having conversations with every guest (even though I wanted to do so). Some of what happened, or didn’t, is a complete blur or was off my radar screen entirely.

But honey, I savored the MOMENTS.

I was Fully Present. I soaked it in and lapped it up. I was (mostly) calm, cool and collected. Seriously. Ask my sisters/best friends – that was a miracle.

Michelle Gardella Photography

If you were at the ceremony in our 18th century church meetinghouse, I did not see you because I never took my eyes off the glowing, serene, and Joyous Bride and Groom! (notable exceptions: I did watch the incredible quartet of NYC actor/singers/friends who sang the groom’s original arrangement for his bride of “How Great Thou Art” and the melodic duet of “The King of Love My Shepherd Is” sung and played by talented Nashville singer/guitarist/friends. And, oh yeah, I did glance at the beautiful maid of honor who is our next bride in a few months, and breathed deeply with gratitude as a son clearly read scripture – while I thanked God for every day of his life learning how to read. And prayed that the pastor/daddy would be able to handle both roles as he offered God’s H.O.P.E. to all so clearly — Honor, Others, Persevere, Encourage)

It is now my firm belief that everyone should have their reception at a colonial barn and gardens (and our family plans to do it again next spring). Simply put, it was Magical.

Maggie’s vintage/rustic creative vision and our volunteers’ execution transformed that lovely place into a quaint, lanterned, twinkly, musical funhouse enjoyed by all generations. The dancing alone was like watching/being in a Broadway show! Photobooth captured our whimsy in boas, lobsters, crazy hats and glasses; the Shoe Game was a hit as the mob and mog asked funny questions of the couple; and the first dances… well, let’s just say that Maggie dancing with her handsome daddy to Natalie Cole’s duet with her late father Nat King Cole of “Unforgettable” was for me….unforgettable!

“Unforgettable in every way…”

Yes, our guests from far and wide (Maggie displayed our antique globe with pins in each of the 18 states and 3 countries of the attendees) all mixed and mingled and discovered that it is truly “a small world, after all.” The gracious and supportive bridesmaids/groomsmen helped the sendoff by giving everyone long sparklers and we made an arc as the happy couple ran underneath on the way to their future. I can’t wait to see those wedding photos. Have I already said it was ‘magical’?

And that was just the wedding day. The weekend began with about 35 early guests at our little “Sunnyside” cottage for a dinner/open house meet and greet. (we actually had more relatives this weekend than at our own wedding back in 1984) The next day, the Bridal Tea hosted by 6 aunts (and a dearly missed grandmother unable to make the trip at the last minute) was gracious and beautiful and sumptuously prepared by friends/owners of “Mainly Tea” parlour where the bride worked through high school — ending with aunties praying a blessing over her. (During this time all the young guys/groom were playing Whirly Ball and getting stuck in traffic, almost missing the rehearsal…).

The rehearsal dinner, graciously hosted by the Stallings was as big and steak-a-licious as a Texas groom could do in New England. As the mog encouraged everyone to keep close friendships through the years (exemplified by her high school, college and current friends here from TX and LA) we all felt absolutely surrounded by Love and the memory of Tom, father of the groom. Then my smart and talented son-in-law Stephen (a.k.a. “soup boy”) gave a toast I will never forget as he recounted God bringing Maggie into his life and the spontaneous lightshow in Brussels, Belgium that mysteriously erupted the very moment he told her “I Love You” for the first time….tears flowed everywhere that night, I assure you.

As I write this, the young couple is on their honeymoon and will soon settle into their new husband-and-wife lives in New York City – he as an advertising music producer, she as a musical theatre actress, currently performing in an off-Broadway show.  Mike and I continue on with our work and our lives too — savoring such special times with family and friends and offering up so much gratitude to God, the Giver of all good gifts.

This bride and groom enjoyed ourselves immensely!

You see, I honestly believe that all our prayers were answered. Not that this was a “perfect” wedding or that there were no glitches. But, you see, Mike and I spent this past summer walking and praying for 5 very specific things to “happen” during the wedding weekend (and none of them was related to good weather – that was just a bonus!). Though I won’t share those here as they were very personal, I will tell you that we prayed that love and grace and acceptance and joy and fun and gratitude and glory would shine forth in every situation. We prayed other things that had to do with our own behavior and God’s provisions for all the needs involved. And we prayed by name for every single person on our guest list and every vendor involved in any way. And I would do it again in a heartbeat (and will) for I truly believe in “praying through” every important aspect of life.

This is a very personal blog and I’m quite sure if you are still reading thus far, you are tired of hearing about my family’s wedding of our youngest child. But I hope you will receive these thoughts in the spirit in which I share them. The current wedding industry says that you have to have lots of money and glitz and designer gowns and all kinds of expensive touches in order to launch children into their marriage. Honey, that’s simply not true. Our “favors” were a card that said we donated money instead to International Justice Mission to rescue people from human trafficking (tho they were beautifully crafted by a friend). Our delicious wedding cake (top was gluten free/dairy free/egg free for the groom) was made by a high school teacher I subbed for, our gorgeous autumn wildflowers and bouquets/arrangements were done by a talented lady in our church, Maggie designed/printed all the invitations/programs, our caterer was a favorite restaurateur across from the church, Maggie “won” the deejay services at a bridal fair, each bridesmaid found her own dress to match a color swatch Maggie sent them, our youth pastor’s wife did all the girls’ makeup and hair, and many friends and family contributed in great and small ways. It literally “took a village” to get these kids hitched!

The Wedding Verse was I John 4.11-12 (which I will forever more hear in Justin’s voice) “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.”

Truly, that’s what it’s all about, really.

               under the mercy, Cindy

 

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

http://www.EncouragingWords.net

MY LIST or “24 Things I Want in a Husband”

MY LIST

or “24 Things I Want in a Husband”

by Lucinda Secrest McDowell

When I was 28 and still not married, I decided God needed some specific ‘help’ – if not in content, certainly in timing! While many of my professional, educational and ministry dreams were being fulfilled beyond my imagination, the lifelong hope of being a wife and mother was still incubating… With no prospects in sight, I went on a day of prayer retreat and made a List. My List. I decided to write down exactly who I was praying for in a husband. When the day was over I had a list of 24 attributes which I promptly typed and put in my Daytimer (see photo – yes, I was organized and serious about this!) Then I began praying diligently for each and every one to be fulfilled…. halfheartedly ending my prayers in the prayer He taught us – “but, THY will be done.”

When you read my list you might think of me as bold, longwinded, too picky or ‘shooting for the moon’ but guess what? I was/am all those things! You see, I believe in praying specifically yet always leaving it to God to winnow out and whittle down as He sees fit. Why should I pray a small prayer for something as important as a husband?  (by the way, I’m still praying Big Prayers)

     “God is for you. If you don’t believe that, then you’ll pray small timid prayers; if you do believe it, then you’ll pray big audacious prayers. And one way or another, your small timid prayers or big audacious prayers will change the trajectory of your life and turn you into two totally different people. Who you become is determined by how you pray. Ultimately, the transcript of your prayer life becomes the script of your life.” (Mark Batterson, “The Circle Maker”)

My List (not necessarily in order of priority)

Lucinda Lee Secrest   - August 1981

• Strong commitment to the Lord; good theology; able to verbalize and share faith
• Has a vision for reaching the unreached
• From a Christian family
• World Christian – open to missions and has traveled abroad
• Strong spiritual leader and would easily take that role in our marriage & family
• Would see my spiritual strength, gifts and commitment as positive, not as threat
• Wants children and willing to spend significant time as a father raising them
• Committed to trying to live as simply as we can
• Knows how to budget money and handle financial affairs
• Believes in having an open home and extending hospitality to others
• Honest and open – a good communicator
• Believes in this priority system: 1- God 2- Family 3- Ministry/vocation
• Loves me just the way I am but wants to help and encourage me to become the woman God made me to be
• Communicates openly to me – able to be vulnerable
• Strong, yet gentle
• Thinks I’m beautiful (I suppose this also means he needs glasses)
• Intelligent (at least college graduate)
• Doesn’t care if I’m not super athletic; likes me to be feminine
• Feels comfortable with my family
• Good sense of humor
• Committed to tithing at least 10% to the Lord’s work
• Knows manners and common courtesies
• Likes to spend time outdoors
• Has never been married before

A precious wedding gift was my new daughter Fiona, who is now planning her own wedding/marriage…

I prayed and I prayed. In the meantime I went around the world (a second time) speaking and ministering. I went to dozens of weddings. I went to work every day and sought to grow as a woman and a Christ-follower.  I became a doting aunt to nieces and nephews. And, one day at my office in the San Francisco area I had an appointment with a man from Seattle. It lasted a real long time and when we parted he asked for my itinerary (because I was leaving the next day for a month in Africa) and several weeks later when I landed in Tunisia, there was a letter waiting with a request for a date. One thing led to another and within a year we were married! I was 31 and he was 39 — a tad older than typical boomer marrying age.

God answered my prayers when He orchestrated my life story to bring Mike McDowell into my script! Would you believe that Mike embodies every single thing on my list? No? Well, then you’re right. He actually embodies everything except one. The last thing on my list was that my future husband “has never been married before”. God took one look at that request and LAUGHED! In His wisdom and sovereignty He knew what was better for me than what I was praying for. He brought me together with a widower with three small children whose first mother had died from liver cancer three years earlier. God gave me EVEN BETTER! Not just one amazing person but four! In fact my youngest daughter (who was actually born 5 years later) says that this is her favorite thing on the list because it reminds us that God loves to show control freaks that He knows best! I cannot imagine my life in any other way than the one in which I married a widower and adopted his/my first three children – yes all at the same time! (though it does make me tired to remember some of the details…)

Daughter Maggie had her own dreams of marriage…from an early age!

Mike is definitely my Better Half and we have grown through many challenges and joys in the past 29 years since we met in September 1983. Today we are walking a new chapter in the journey as both of our daughters are engaged to be married to the “answers” to their/our prayers! Our first family wedding is in just a few days and Mike and I took numerous walks this summer to strategically pray about the whole wedding weekend and how we hope everyone will experience love, welcome and grace. We are daily praying through the names of all those guests and we know that God knows just what each of them needs (coming from 17 states and 3 foreign countries). Can you tell I believe in praying through lists? And as soon as Maggie and Stephen are married we will continue to do the same as we pray for Fiona and Tim’s upcoming wedding and marriage in the months ahead.

I believe in praying through. Years ago when I was in seminary, Elisabeth Elliot referred me constantly to this verse when I would lament the lack of a special man in my life. “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”  (Psalm 84.11) Needless to say, I pray All Good Things for my (now six) children. But I know that life is hard and sometimes – many times – our prayers are not at all answered in the way we deeply desire. The mystery is that God answers what is best  — yes, no or wait. Though He may not always give the answer we want, He does always give Himself and His presence to us. He is faithful.

So, go ahead make a List. Pray through it. Be prepared to be surprised. Be prepared to be blessed. “God is for you. I can’t promise God will always give you the answer you want. I can’t promise that He will answer on your timeline. But I can promise this: He answers every prayer, and He keeps every promise. That is Who He is. That is what He does. And if you have the faith to dream big, pray hard, and think long, there is nothing God loves more than proving His faithfulness.” (Mark Batterson)

On our 25th Anniversary we renewed our vows in front of those who have watched us try to keep them through the years!

under the mercy, Cindy a.k.a. Mother of the Bride(s)

©2012 Lucinda Secrest McDowell

www.EncouragingWords.net